Attachment parenting: The most time-honored of parenting tools to gain cooperation from children

Many parents think that punitive parenting such as spanking and punishment is the most time-honored way of dealing with children. This is a common myth - that spanking in particular is a time-honored tool to gain cooperation from a child. The fact of the matter is that attachment parenting is a much older way to gain cooperation from a child. Attachment parenting has been used by parents since time immemorial.

Christian love for children, as a parent, is denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao), and refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself last as a parent, to the point of dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need. This love comes from conviction, namely coming to the belief that you are a worthless sinner deserving of absolutely nothing from anyone, leading to the belief that everyone else is deserving of everything from you. Love is putting yourself last to put your neighbor first, meaning everyone around you, meaning children also. It is a humble, undeserving attitude that others are deserving, not yourself, and that includes children being deserving, and you not being deserving.

Attachment parenting is inscribed into the Bible, when understood in context. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your children in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. 

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of patents. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, sacrificing for their children, just as Christ sacrificed for His children, with parents serving a Godhead which is children, with children resting in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Attachment parenting was the established norm in Ancient Judeo-Christian society, just like with many ancient cultures. Attachment parenting was mandated in the Old Testament under Jewish customary law, and in the Early Church under church ordinance. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including punishment and controlling demeanor coming from a parent. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children too many times. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" under the Law referring to any damages or offense stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment, then, was seen as holding your child hostage for things they did wrong. Paul was lifting up this historical legal context to a group of Greek Christians who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. No such custom existed among the Early Christians. Attachment parenting was the established norm in biblical times, with such parenting being mandated under Christian church ordinance.

Children went naked wherever they went in biblical times. Women went naked as well, within the confines of a family home, in order to serve their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by providing nourishment and comfort, namely in the form of breastmilk (until age 3) and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy, respectively. By day, children in biblical times ranged beside their mothers. By night, children slept next to mothers, with mothers guarding children from all threats external and domestic, with children soaking up the rays of skin-on-skin co-sleeping. 

Mothers in biblical times used skin-on-skin strategies to gain cooperation of children. Mothers were the primary adult charged with the care of children, and they used their warmth and their love to earn the respect of their children. Children in biblical times never left the line of sight of parents, and children up until age 6 never left the side of mothers at all. Children largely cooperated with parents then, but cried and demanded for their needs a lot. Crying was seen by parents then not as a means to undermine parents from children, but a means for children to communicate a vulnerable need. Children did not stray away from parents, and wanted to be close to parents, because they felt close to their parents. 

Parenting in biblical times was heavily based on closeness as a short-term goal, not obedience or compliance. But, with a child that is close to you, you get cooperation, because children who are close to parents want to listen to them, even if they don't do so perfectly. The long-term goal of Christian parents in the Bible was independence, which children asserted themselves when they were ready, and fathers especially encouraged independence skills in children. Closeness was, however, the main aim of parents in the Bible. Parents in biblical times formed a secure parent-child bond with their child, using skin-on-skin strategies such as skin-on-skin co-sleeping even with older children to form that perfect bond with children.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!