Understanding the Fifth Commandment in context: Why parents have no right to demand respect

Many parents demand respect, and use Scripture as an excuse. Most American parents are aware of the existence of the Fifth Commandment to honor your father and mother, and take it as an excuse for demanding unearned respect. The fact of the matter is that the Fifth Commandment, in terms of penalizing bad behavior, has a narrow scope of application - elder abuse.

The Fifth Commandment reads in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

This passage, in context, refers to elder abuse. The parent protection laws existed then. "Do not strike parents" meant don't repeatedly beat them, and "do not curse parents" means do not issue a gaslighting curse onto parents. There are 613 commandments in the Old Testament, specifically the first five books of Moses, and all of them had to be based on the first ten of them, and thus God gave basis for parent protection laws in the Ten Commandments. There were already laws on the books prohibiting these things towards parents, but parent victims of elder abuse were often blamed for being abused by their adult children. It was an isolated issue, and one that most of society didn't understand. Most people blamed the parent victims of abuse with statements such as "where did they learn how to behave that way?", accusing the parent victims of modeling their own abuse to their abuser. Testifying against your own child, in the Old Testament, was seen as shameful, hence the need for stronger laws. Today, this commandment can be applied with the secular law on elder abuse and aging being the guide. In Pennsylvania, you only dishonor your parents if you leave a lasting mark on their body (see Rom. 13:1-4).

The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting relationship is Christian Agape love for children, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao), and refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a fearful and convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in the good works of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Parents labored, toiled, and worked to win over their child's trust and affection, and children rested in the love and good works of parents, without a worry in the world. Ultimately, however, this referred to rest in the bosom of mothers, with mothers providing nourishment and sustenance to children, namely breastmilk (up until age 3) and skin-to-skin closeness (especially during co-sleeping). Attachment parenting was the established norm in Ancient Israel and the Early Church. Attachment parenting was mandated under customary law in Ancient Israel, and under church ordinance in the Early Church. This Greek root word brings up the attachment parenting context of the Bible.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, as defined under biblical law, is the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood by the people in context, as prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. A few Greek Christian parents were misusing the book of Proverbs to justify the pagan custom of spanking and punishing children that they brought into the church. Paul was pointing out the big picture, stating the Jewish commandment to "love your neighbor, and do not provoke them to anger" and applied it to a Christian parenting context. He also, in his secular documents, debunked their false interpretation of Scripture, stating that the rod verses are repealed verses, due to the fact that they do not refer to raising children, but instead a form of judicial corporal punishment within Judaism where an ADULT child convicted of a capital offense was issued 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction as a second chance at life. None of the rod verses were repeated in the New Testament, yet a commandment clearly prohibits all violence and punishment against children, as well as any controlling demeanor. God does not want any children harmed or abused by parents, and hates the secular law in favor of spanking and punishment - and an unjust law, in God's eyes, is no law at all, thus the "reasonable force" defense for parents does not exist under God's Law, which is above the law of the land.

All the Fifth Commandment means, to a minor child, is that God charged his/her parents with providing care and protection. Parents were not seen in the Early Church as extensions of God, but extensions of Christ serving a Godhead, with that Godhead being children. The national form of attachment parenting of the Jewish people then, including the Early Church, deified children with pro-social deification and pro-social child worship of children. Pro-social child worship means children aren't literally God, but are like God to their parents, and are extended to parents by God as the "least of these" (see Matt. 25:31-46). 

Children had the upper hand in a parent-child bond in Ancient Israel and the Early Church. Children could take their parents to court and issue lawful and binding orders, and parents could not countersue. In fact, the every self-advocated want/need of a child was a lawful and binding order, meaning a summonses from God imposed by the child. Parents reverently feared their child, for their vulnerability, idealizing them in an angelic and deified way. Children were likened to "gods" and "goddesses", and also "heavenly angels", and were worshipped and venerated as extensions of God.

Parents were the head of children in that they provided for children, and children rested safely and securely in parents. Children demanded what they needed, and parents simply provided. Usually, children would cry a lot for their parents, and parents would interpret that as a lawful and binding order to have their needs met, and would get right on it, scrambling to figure out why the child is upset. Does she need milk? Does she need loving attention? Is she hungry? Is she thirsty? Is she tired? 

Children never left the side of Christian parents in the Bible until age 6, and even after that, never left the line of sight of parents. Children went naked wherever they went. Women were traditionally naked, in order to serve their husbands and children, separately. Mothers served their children by giving them sustenance and nourishment, namely breastmilk and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. Children, by day, ranged beside mothers, sometimes clinging to her. By night, children slept next to mothers, in co-sleeping fashion, soaking up the rays of skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is rhe second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!