Punishment of children: Why this is banned in the Bible

Many parents think that punishment of children is okay, or even imperative in parenting, and use Scripture as an excuse for abuse. This is a common thing parents do wrong in parenting. The fact of the matter is that all punishment of a child is banned under biblical law.

The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting relationship is Christian Agape love, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao), and refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself as the parent last, in a fearful and convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in the good works of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Parents labor, toil, and work to win over their children's trust and affection, and children rest in that love, without a worry in the world. Ultimately, this refers to rest in the bosom of mothers. Attachment parenting was the established norm in Ancient Jewish culture, including the Early Church. Attachment parenting was mandated under customary law in the Old Testament, and was also mandated under church ordinance in the Early Christian churches. This Greek root word lifts up the attachment parenting context of the Early Church.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, as defined under biblical law, is the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul to prohibit all punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. Paul here was rebuking a few Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Spanking and other forms of punishment do not come from the Bible, but instead the Roman Catholic Church pandering to the punitive parenting norms of European pagan cultures who whipped and beat their children. The rod verses in the book of Proverbs - all seven of them - are repealed passages. The rod verses do not refer to raising children, but to an archaic form of judicial corporal punishment where fathers were appointed by the court to issue 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction, which was intended to warn an errant ADULT child convicted of a capital offense that any re-offending would result in immediate execution. The legal punishment was strongly conflated with the death penalty in Ancient Israel. Capital and corporal punishment both were shunned practices by the Early Church. Merely patronizing Roman floggings and executions was grounds for excommunication. The only physical discipline allowed in the Early Church was mutual accountability between spouses. But, even consensual wife-spanking was frowned upon, as husbands were to show grace towards their wives at all times possible. Punishing a child was completely outlawed by the church, because unlike wives, children were not legal subjects, but were simply learning the Law.

What should a parent do instead of punishment? We can learn from the biblical context what God wants us to do as parents and adults. Parents in biblical times used a special form of attachment parenting that deified children. Children in biblical times were worshipped and venerated by their parents as extensions of God. Their every cry and demand was seen as lawful and binding orders, meaning a summonses from God imposed by the child. Children were referred to as "gods" and "goddesses" by parents as a terms of endearment. Parents reverently feared their children, leading to them being compelled by the Lord to surrender to their child and their every vulnerable need.

How did this deified parenting pan out? Children went naked everywhere they went in biblical times. Women also went naked traditionally in the family home, in order to please their husbands and their children, respectively. Mothers served their children with nourishment (until age 3) and sustenance (especially during co-sleeping). By day, children ranged beside mothers, sometimes clinging to her. By night, children slept next to mothers, in co-sleeping fashion. Mothers, when taking their children out in public, held them close with swaddling blankets and papoose bags.

Punishment is banned in the Bible. The Bible is America's book, and we as a society gain wisdom from the Bible. America is a Christian nation, founded upon Judeo-Christian family values. Violence and punishment are not part of those values. We are constantly learning about our values. Slavery and Jim Crow were deemed wrong not because of abandoning religion, but finding a better interpretation of it. God's Law is above the law of the land, and His Law prohibits all forms of punishment and controlling demeanor towards children.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!