Pro-social permissiveness: Why children should be in charge of their upbringing

Many parents think that children should not be in charge, and that parents should be in charge. The way it works in most American homes, children are told what they need by their parents. The fact of the matter is that children are very capable of advocating for their own needs. Children should be in charge of their own upbringing

The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting is Christian Agape love for children, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao), and refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a fearful and convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in the good works of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: as this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Parents labor, toil, and work to win over their children's trust and affection, and children rest in the love and grace of parents, not having a worry in the world. Ultimately, this refers to rest in the bosom of mothers, and in the shelter of fathers, but usually, the bosom of mothers. Attachment parenting was the norm in Ancient Jewish culture, including the Early Church. Attachment parenting was mandated then by customary law in Ancient Israel, and church ordinance in the Early Church. This Greek root word lifts up the church ordinance in the Early Christian church communities mandating attachment parenting, so that attachment parenting may be a good goal for all Christian parents to strive for.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, as defined under biblical law, at minimum, is the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul as a prohibition on all punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. Paul was lifting up the Law to a few Greek Christian parents who were misusing the book of Proverbs to justify bringing their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Spanking and punishment, as a custom, does not come from the Bible, but instead the Roman Catholic Church mistranslating the Bible to pander to the punitive parenting customs of European pagan cultures. The rod verses - all seven of them - are repealed verses, as they are only relevant to the context in which they were given. These verses have nothing to do with raising children, in context, but instead refer to an archaic form of judicial corporal punishment meted out by fathers to ADULT children who were convicted of a capital offense in the Old Testament. MINOR children could not be punished under the Law, as children were simply expected to learn the Law. Individuals were not expected to know the Law until they were adults, and before then, they couldn't be held accountable by any legal standards. In the New Testament, whippings were shunned by the Early Church, meaning any Christian who participated in Roman floggings or executions was excommunicated from the church community for participating in violence, with the Early Church being anti-violence to the core.

Jewish and Christian parents in the Bible utilized a special form of attachment parenting that deified children, seeing them as in place of God. Children were strongly deified in Ancient Jewish culture, including the Early Church. Children were worshipped and venerated as extensions of God on earth, with their every cry and demand being seen as a lawful and binding order, meaning a summonses from God imposed by the child. Children were referred to as "gods" and "goddesses" as terms of endearment. Children were highly valued as next to God on earth, with parents reverently fearing their children, feeling compelled by the Lord to provide for their children's every vulnerable want/need. 

Children directed their every want/need in biblical times, and they got much of what they wanted. Children were in charge of their needs, as they were in providing custody of parents. Providing custody is similar to a guardianship for someone with a disability, meaning the parent is simply there to provide, and the child makes demands that the parent has to follow through with. Seeing children as a Godhead is how parents understood the issue, and gave to their children what they wanted/needed. Children tend to self-advocate their wants/needs by crying, throwing fits, or demanding. They are simply self-advocating a need, not being "bad" when they act in less than an orderly fashion.

How did this form of parenting pan out in terms of attachment parenting? Children went naked wherever they went. Women also went naked in the family home, in order to serve their husband and children, separately. Mothers served their children by giving them nourishment and sustenance, namely breastmilk (up until age 3) and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy (especially during co-sleeping). By day, children ranged by their mothers, sometimes clinging to her. By night, children slept next to mothers, soaking up the rays of skin-to-skin closeness, with mother and child bonding for a lifetime. Children were the mother's purview, but fathers also were active in their children's lives. Mothers nurtured up close, and fathers from afar.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!