Punishment of children: Why all punishment of children is banned in the Bible

Many parents believe that children should be punished in some way. This is a common belief among parents - that children are deserving of punishment, at least some of the time. Most of these parents use the Bible as an excuse to some degree. However, the fact of the matter is that the Bible opposes punishment of children, and bans it.

The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting relationship is Christian Agape love for children, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao), and refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a fearful and convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in the good works of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, sacrificing for their children, just as Christ sacrificed for His children, with children resting in the sacrifice of parents, being a Godhead for parents to serve and obey. Parents labored, toiled, and worked to win over their child's trust and affection, with children resting in said love and good works. Attachment parenting was the established norm in Ancient Israel, as well as the Early Church. Attachment parenting was mandated under Jewish customary law in Ancient Israel, and under church ordinance in the Early Church.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, as defined under biblical law, at minimum, is the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in the context in which it was given, as a prohibition against all punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. Paul was lifting up the Law for a group of Greek Christians that misused the book of Proverbs to justify their pagan custom of spanking and whipping children that they brought into the church. Paul was challenging the fathers to see the main idea in Judeo-Christian parenting values, giving the Jewish commandment of "love your neighbor, and do not provoke your neighbor to anger" in a Christian parenting context, in the negative. Paul was stating that children are your neighbor, and so they should be loved like you would your neighbor.

Spanking and other forms of punishment do not come from the Bible, but from the Roman Catholic Church pandering to the punitive parenting biases of European pagan cultures that whipped and beat their children. Roman law contained the legal defense of patrias potestas, which translates to either "power to the father" or "power to the parent", where the father could issue legal punishment as he saw fit in his own home. This was absorbed by the Roman Catholic Church, and then the Anglo-Saxons when they re-settled England. The Puritan settlers then introduced the punishment of children to the New World. The Ancient Jews had no such defense under the Law, with Jewish customary law mandating attachment parenting. 

What are the alternatives to punishing children? The national parenting of the Ancient Jewish people, including the Early Church, was a distinct form of attachment parenting where children were deified and seen as angelic and godly. Children were seen as emblematic of God and His Authority on earth (see Matt. 25:31-46). Children were worshipped and venerated as extensions of God on earth, with parents struck with reverent fear and terror, being compelled in the Lord to provide for their children's every vulnerable need. The every demand and cry of a child for vulnerable needs was seen as Divine Law, and if parents didn't give a child what they wanted/needed, it was as if they refused to give God what He wanted from them. 

How does this setup pan out in terms of application? Children went naked wherever they went. Women also went naked, when in the family home, in order to serve their husbands and their children. Mothers served their children by giving them nourishment and sustenance, namely breastmilk (for the first two years) and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy (especially during co-sleeping). By day, children ranged beside mothers, sometimes clinging to her. By night, children slept next to mothers, soaking up the rays of skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy, in co-sleeping fashion. Fathers also nurtured, but from a distance, offering encouragement for a child's religious education. Fathers spoke to their children on formal terms, until children "broke the ice" and invited fathers to have casual conversation with them. These formalities were because most adult men then were pedophiles towards their own children, but in the abstinent way, meaning fathers had connotational attraction to their children, but had that attraction centered so they never acted on it - sexually abusing a child then was seen as deserving of death.

America is a Christian nation, founded upon Judeo-Christian family values. We are constantly learning more about our values. We have learned that slavery and Jim Crow were wrong and unjust against minorities, and not within our American values. Now, we are learning that punishment and controlling demeanor towards children is morally wrong and against American values. The Bible is America's book, and we look to that book for wisdom, and its context for inspiration. God chose Israel as His chosen country, in order to spread Judeo-Christian values around the world, creating Western civilization as we know it today. Most of the West frowns upon punishing children, even though it still happens in a lot of places. It is about time America got on board. We are getting there, with rates of corporal punishment being as low as ever. True Judeo-Christian family values do not support punishing or being controlling with children.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!