Instruction by example: How to instruct your children in Judeo-Christian family values (without punishment or controlling demeanor)

Many parents think that there are only two sides to the spanking debate - the Christian side, which is pro-spanking, and the atheist/anti-religious side, which is anti-spanking. Many people associate children's rights with Satanic things. The fact of the matter is that a Christian example need not be backed up by punishment or controlling demeanor. In fact, parents in the Early Church did not back up the Christian example that way. 

The Greek root word denoting entitlement in the New Testament, and cross-referencing the Tenth Commandment, is πγεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers, officially speaking, to want, to the point of imposition, and unofficially speaking, to the slightest of unattainable want. If a want has a fuse attached to it, don't want it, as any want with a fuse attached to it is entitlement, including from your own child. Children are watching your every move, so it is good to work on your entitlement issues, including those which end up being imposed on your child. It is not good to want anything in life, as want is our depraved and entitled nature, but we all are going to want things, so it is good to ask politely for things we want, and model that skill to our children. Children absorb the every behavior of their parents, so be good, dear parents.

On the other hand, discipline, in the Christian tense, is denoted by the Greek root word παιδεία (Latin: paideia), and refers to a specific standard of Christian discipline that starts with admission of one's depraved and entitled sin nature, leading to forming an attitude that is entitled to nothing, and grateful for everything, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Children are not going to follow that example right away, due to lack of self-regulation and emotional immaturity. The parent, instead, should focus disciplining themselves, so children know how to behave by example. Children are watching the every move of parents, and, in an ideal Christian home, they look up to parents.

How do you back up a Christian example properly? Punitive measures to back up such an example don't work, as children then look to celebrities and classmates for guidance, whereas a child should get their guidance from their parents. Attachment parenting is the time-honored way to back up a good example from parents. The centerpiece of an attached Christian home is Christian Agape love, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao), which refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a fearful and convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in the good works of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in parents. Parents are to labor, toil, and work in order to win over their children's trust and affection, and children should rest in that love and good works, without a worry in the world. Ultimately, this refers to rest in the bosom of mothers, either as sustenance or reassurance. Attachment parenting was the established norm in Ancient Israel and the Early Church. Attachment parenting was mandated under the customary law of Ancient Israel, and the church ordinance of the Early Church. This Greek root word lifts up the attachment parenting context of the Bible.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, as defined under biblical law, is the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood by the people in the context in which it was given, as prohibiting all forms of punishment and controlling demeanor. A few Greek Christian parents were misusing the book of Proverbs to justify bringing their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Punitive parenting does not come from the Bible, but from the Roman Catholic Church pandering to European pagan cultures that whipped and beat their children. The rod verses - all seven of them - are repealed passages, meaning they are only relevant to the legal context of the time. They refer to a specific, dated form of judicial corporal punishment within Judaism where the father of an errant ADULT son convicted of a capital offense issued 40 minus 1 lashes to give his son a second chance. That context only applies to the Old Testament, as the Early Church had no corporal punishment as a sentence for a crime apart from mutual accountability between spouses. Children were not subject to the Law throughout the Bible, as they were instead only expected to learn it as a vocation.

The national parenting of the Ancient Jewish people, including the Early Christians, was a form of attachment parenting that deified children, in the form of pro-social deification and pro-social child worship. Children were worshipped and venerated as extensions of God, with parents submitting to them as they would God, in reverent fear and terror for their children, fearing and revering them for their vulnerability, not despite it, not wanting to harm them in any way. Children could take their parents to court and issue lawful and binding orders on their parents, and parents could not countersue nor defend themselves in court. Every single cry, upset, and demand for a need was seen as a lawful and binding order for parents to submit to. This was the traditional way to back up an example in the Early Christian churches, with parents being an extension of Christ serving a Godhead which is children.

How did this deification of children pan out in real life? Children went naked wherever they went. Women went naked in the family home traditionally, and were so in order to serve their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children through nourishment and sustenance, namely breastmilk and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy respectively. Children ranged beside mothers by day, sometimes clinging to her. By night, children slept next to mothers, soaking up the rays of skin-to-skin closeness. Fathers nurtured too, but from a distance, keeping all formalities in their speech towards their children until the child, with the mother's blessing, "broke the ice" and allowed for casual conversation. Mothers were the primary protectors of children then, and children were only allowed to be touched by the father with her permission, with the child giving consent, and the mother offering her blessing on the child's choice to engage in casual conversation with a father or other adult man. Most men were pedophiles in biblical times, but the abstinent type, so mothers had to take charge and protect their children even from the sexual self-interests of their fathers, who usually had a parent attraction to at least one of the children.

Attachment parenting is intended to back up a good Christian example for children. A child who has a secure parent-child bond with their parents is more likely to keep their example. This is because children then want to listen to you, and want to look up to you, because you are so nice and kind to them. The idea is not to impose your example on a child with punishment and controlling demeanor, but win them over by submitting to their every vulnerable need, including attachment needs, being an attachment parent to them so that they can trust you enough  to follow your example.

The depraved and entitled parents and adults who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!