How to teach good behavior in public venues - without spanking or punishment

Many parents struggle with their children when going out and about. It is common for parents to have power struggles with their children when out and about, in public venues. Parents want children to behave in a peaceable and orderly way in public. However, how is this lesson taught? By example, not brute force. There is no need to punish a child anywhere when in a public venue, or when you get home.

The Greek root word denoting entitlement in the New Testament, and cross-referencing the Tenth Commandment, is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to, officially speaking, want, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, this word refers to the slightest of unattainable want. If what you want will lead you to a temper tantrum if told the word "no", don't want it. Children can't help but throw temper tantrums in public, but YOU can as a parent raising them. Children are watching and observing our every move as adults, so we as adults - especially parents - should work on their entitlement problems. The best place to start is entitlement towards your child - parental entitlement.

On the other hand, discipline, in the Christian tense, is denoted by the Greek root word παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to a specific standard of Christian discipline that starts with an admission of one's depraved and entitled sin nature, and leads to an attitude that is entitled to nothing, and grateful for everything, leading to a disciplined and chastened up example for children to follow. Children will not be able to get the example of parents right away, as children are immature and lack self-control, and need a parent to be calm when they can't be. This means that when a child throws a temper tantrum, a parent should not react by throwing one as well - they should simply remain calm and respond to the tantrum with empathy.

Any good example has to be backed up by something. Spanking and punishment drives children away from the good example of their parents. Attachment parenting makes children want to follow the example of parents, and leads to children looking up to parents. The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting home is Christian Agape love for children, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao), and refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a fearful and convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in the good works of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, sacrificing themselves just as Christ sacrificed for His children, with children resting in the sacrifice of parents. Parents labor, toil, and work to win over their child's trust and affection, and children rest in such love and good works for children, with children being a Godhead issuing demands and summonses that is their every vulnerable need, being the extensions of God that they are. Attachment parenting was the established norm in Ancient Jewish culture, including Early Christian culture. Attachment parenting was mandated under Jewish customary law in the Old Testament, and also was mandated under Christian church ordinance in the New Testament.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, as defined under biblical law, at minimum, is the slightest of personal offenses perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle 
Paul, as well as understood in context, as prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. Spanking and other forms of punishing children do not come from the Bible, but instead come from the Roman Catholic Church pandering to European pagan cultures that whipped and beat their children into submission, and the Bible was intentionally mistranslated into Latin to reflect this. Jewish law, including Christian ordinance, prohibited all punishment of minor children then, and also prohibited all punishment of adult children without a trial. Paul was spelling it out completely to a Greek Christian Audience that misused the book of Proverbs to justify their pagan punishment habits. The rod verses in Proverbs do not refer to raising children, and instead refer to an archaic form of judicial corporal punishment within Judaism then where offenders were issued 40 minus 1 lashes by their fathers upon being sentenced to death, and if they survived, they were given a second chance at life. 

The national parenting of the Ancient Jewish people was a special type of attachment parenting that deified children and treated them as emblematic of God and His Authority (see Matt. 25:31-46). Children could issue lawful and binding orders as to whatever they want/need, with whatever they wanted/needed being a summonses from God for parents to obey. Children then led the way as to what they wanted/needed, and cried easily, as a cry was understood as a petition and demand for a need. Children were seen as extensions of God, striking reverent fear and terror into parents, compelling them in the Lord to meet their every need. Children were given everything that they wanted, assuming it was a need, unless it was harmful, sinful, or otherwise unattainable.

How did this all pan out? Children went naked wherever they went. Women went naked in the family home, in order to serve their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of nourishment and sustenance, namely breastmilk (up until age 3) and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy (especially during co-sleeping). By day, children ranged beside their mother, sometimes clinging to her. By night, they slept next to her, soaking up the rays of skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. Raising children was the mother's domain, with the father rarely intervening. The father nurtured too, but from a distance, and at the consent of mothers. Fathers addressed their children on formal terms, until the child invited him to "break the ice" and allowed for casual conversation. Even then, mothers could step in and break up the interaction if the father was entitled in the interaction.

Children learn how to behave in public venues by way of example. All you have to do is behave yourself in a public venue, in a peaceable and orderly way, and be an attachment parent to your child, and your child should eventually be able to behave in public. Children should not be expected to master this skill until young adulthood. Spanking and punishment drives away children from the good example of parents, and make it so children don't want to follow the example of parents. Then, getting them to behave in public is harder. So, don't blow up at the waitress and demand to talk to the manager when your food isn't the right temperature - stifle that kind of anger, because then children think it is okay to throw tantrums in public. They will anyway when they are young, because they lack self-control and maturity, but they will learn Christian non-entitlement and gratitude if they have a good role model that they can want to be like and look up to. That role model should be their parents. In the mean time, all you can do is fill the void and be under complete self-control when your child throws a temper tantrum, but in a listening and validating way. Parents should show gratitude in how they position themselves, especially when children are watching, and show gratitude in how they ask for things. Children will follow in emulating your example, but not right away.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!