Why back talk is acceptable in the Bible

Many parents think talking back is a major sin, and punish their children for talking back. This is a common attitude among parents who call themselves Christians in particular. However, the fact of the matter is that back talk is not a moral crime under biblical law. Provoking your child to anger is.

The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting relationship is Christian love, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao). This refers to Christian Agape love, or prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This form of respect for parents does not come from fearful compliance, but instead comes from restful trust in parents, with children telling parents anything and everything that is on their mind, including admissions of wrongdoing or non-conforming traits, expecting absolutely no punishment or reprisal in return. In this sort of environment, children took after their parents in biblical times, wanting to be like them, then following their example. Children did not take up the example of parents right away. Instead, children of a certain age did not understand instructions from parents, and thus, parents only gave instructions as a righteous test, and thus, when children did not follow instructions, and acted in a childish and rebellious way, children were assumed not to understand what was being asked of them. Children tried to follow the example of parents, fell down, got back up, and achieved milestones in following the Christian example of parents. Children didn't truly follow the example of parents until young adulthood, when they gave back to parents by cooperating with parents, after parents were so gracious with them.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, under biblical law, at minimum, is defined as the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. Child abuse, under biblical law, was prosecutable as kidnapping at the very least, and fornication in the case of child sexual abuse. In this commandment, the Apostle Paul was lifting up the Law against punishment and controlling demeanor towards children, rebuking Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking children into the church. Christian parents of Greek origin misused the book of Proverbs to justify their punishment habit even in the 1st Century, when this passage was written. Paul was warning parents that Proverbs was simply wisdom literature - a list of wise sayings - and not a book of parenting commands. The rod verses - all seven of them - in Proverbs do not deal with raising children at all, but instead a legal practice in Judaism, namely a form of judicial corporal punishment exclusive to ancient times. This form of legal punishment involved 40 minus 1 lashes before an ADULT child was put to death. The translation is off stemming from when the Bible was translated into Latin.

Children in Ancient Israel and the Early Church were demanding in nature. Children would issue demands and orders, and those orders from children were legally binding. Children were allowed to talk back to parents in biblical times, and when parents were at the end of their rope, having enough of their children, they cried, admitting helplessness over the situation with their children. 

The goal of every parent in biblical times was a secure parent-child bond. Children could vent anything into parents, and expect to be listened to. Usually, mothers held their children to their bosom, and reassured them through skin-to-skin contact. Such elicits openness and honesty in parent-child relationships. Children were never punished, not even for talking back. Attachment parenting was the norm in Ancient Israel and the Early Church, with children not leaving the side of mothers until age 6. Children confided everything into mothers, and fathers as well. Children had the right to their opinions.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!