The attachment parenting traditions of the Bible

Many parents support punishment and controlling demeanor towards children as a "tradition". This is a common excuse for punitive parenting. Most parents use the Bible as an excuse for abusing their children through punitive parenting. The fact of the matter is that attachment parenting is a biblical tradition.

The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting relationship is Christian Agape love, as is denoted in the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) in the New Testament. This word refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in the good works of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This form of respect for parents does not come from fearful compliance, but instead comes from restful trust in parents, with children being able to feel safe confiding into parents anything and everything that is on their mind, including admissions of wrongdoing or non-conforming traits, expecting absolutely no punishment or reprisal in return. Children, in this loving or affirming environment, start to take after parents, wanting to be like parents, then following the example of parents. Children should not be expected to follow their parents' example right away, as children are immature emotionally and cognitively, and thus cannot reason like adults can. They engage in childish behavior that is understandable given their age and development.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, under biblical law, at minimum, is defined as the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. In this commandment, the Apostle Paul was lifting up the Law against punishment and controlling demeanor towards children, rebuking Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking children into the church. Christian parents of Greek origin were misusing the book of Proverbs to justify their punishment habits even in the 1st Century, when this passage was written. Paul was warning parents in the Colossian church that Proverbs is simply wisdom literature - a list of wise sayings - and not a parenting manual. The rod verses in Proverbs - all seven of them - have nothing to do with parenting when understood in context, and only apply to the context they were given to. The verses instead refer to an ancient, archaic legal practice within Judaism where a father was subpoenaed to issue 40 minus 1 lashes to his ADULT child as a last warning before putting the errant ADULT child to death. MINOR children could never be whipped, as that would require a criminal trial, and children could not stand trial for moral crimes that they committed, and thus could not be held culpable for criminal acts or civil wrongs that they committed.

Mothers and fathers held different roles in raising children in an attached way. Mothers nurtured up close, and fathers nurtured from afar. Mothers provided nourishment and sustenance to children, meaning breastmilk and skin-to-skin closeness respectively. Children went naked everywhere they went, and women were traditionally naked as well, in order to serve their husbands and children, separately. Children snuggled up next to mothers, soaking up the rays in skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy with children. When out and about, mothers wore their children on them (babywearing), with children being held close to mothers in swaddling blankets and/or a papoose bag. Fathers also nurtured, but from afar. Fathers spoke on formal terms with children, until children "broke the ice" and allowed for casual conversation, and this was to deal with a parent attraction to children...All of this can be applied today, for the most part. The mother's domain is children and should nurture closely, with the father nurturing from afar.

Children were clearly deified by both fathers and mothers, but especially fathers in the case of daughters, with fathers showing parent attraction by putting children on a pedestal when attracted to them. Ancient Jewish society, including the Early Christians, was child worshipping society, meaning children were deified and seen as signs of God. Deification was seen as a form of idealizing the child, in a fearful and reverent way, that prevented the parent from turning on their child, sexually or otherwise...It is good, even today, to show children the same reverent respect you would God. 

Childhood in biblical times, unlike childhood today, was very isolated, with children not leaving the line of sight of parents or other adults. Children were not sent to public school in both the Old and New Testament, but instead were homeschooled. Children were sheltered by parents from the harshness of the outside world, and were protected. Unlike some other ancient cultures, Jewish and Christian parents supervised their children at all times...This context is somewhat dated, but can be applied today, with some tweaking. Children should be closely supervised, but in a loving and not restricting way.

America is a Christian nation founded on Judeo-Christian family values, and those values forbit the punishment or controlling demeanor towards a child. We as a nation have long been discovering what our values are. The greatest of social justice advocates respected the Judeo-Christian values of this nation, and saw the inclusion of different groups of people into society. Children's rights, as an aim, is including children into society. Children in biblical times were isolated, but they had immense lobbying power over adults, and ruled adults from beneath. That is how it should be in the United States, given that contextual evidence from the Bible.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!