Saturday, May 28, 2022

Skin-to-skin closeness: Why this is crucial for a secure parent-child bond

Many parents think that children should comply with orders from parents and other adults, meaning adults are made out to be authority figures instead of caregivers. However, the Bible commands that parents form a secure parent-child bond with their child, and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy with a child is the best way to bond with your child, even if they are an older child and not an infant anymore.

The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting relationship is Christian Agape love for children, as denoted in the New Testament by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao), and refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a fearful and convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children and others, with children resting safely and securely in the good works of parents, not having a worry in the world. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This form of respect for parents does not come from fearful compliance, but instead restful trust in parents, with children feeling safe confiding into parents anything and everything that is on their mind, including admissions of wrongdoing or non-conforming traits, expecting absolutely no punishment or reprisal in return. Attachment parenting was the Judeo-Christian tradition in the biblical context, and was customary law in both the Old and New Testaments. This Greek root word uplifts the attachment parenting context that commands a secure parent-child bond.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, as defined under biblical law, at minimum, is the slightest of personal offenses perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment, in context, was understood then as a command against all punitive parenting techniques, including any punishment or other controlling demeanor towards children. The Apostle Paul, here, was lifting up the Law for Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking children into the church. Greek Christian parents were misusing the book of Proverbs to justify their punishment habits even back then. Paul was explaining that every single verse in Proverbs that mentioned the rod of correction - all seven of them - are repealed verses, and refer to a legal practice within Judaism during the context of the Old Testament, where a father was court ordered (usually because he was a hostile witness against his own son) to whip his own ADULT son for committing a capital offense, with the whipping being a last warning before the errant son was put to death. That punishment was closely conflated with the death penalty in Ancient Israel, and thus does not apply today, as Christ abolished the harsh punishments of the Law, and arguably the death penalty as a whole, when He Himself suffered capital punishment on the cross. Any Christian who participated in a Roman whipping with the cat o' nine tails, even as part of the audience, was immediately excommunicated from the church. Same with Roman executions. The church itself did not allow for any corporal punishment apart from mutual accountability between spouses. Striking a child, however, was completely unlawful and sinful.

The goal for every biblical parent was a secure parent-child bond. Mothers and children bonded by way of skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy with children. Children went completely naked wherever they went, and women were traditionally naked in the confines of the family home in order to serve their husband and their children, separately. Mothers and children snuggled in the nude, with children soaking up the rays from the bosom of their mothers.

In biblical times, children were treated with a special type of attachment parenting that deified children, meaning they were idealized to the point of being called "gods" and "goddesses" in passing. Parents were devotees to their children's every vulnerable need, being beholden to their needs just as they would be to what God needed of them. Children were authority figures for parents, and could issue lawful and binding orders to decree their needs to their parents, and their every demand was seen as a statement of Law representing God. Childhood demands were summonses for parents to obey, and was not seen as "talking back" or "disrespect". Children were pampered, sitting on their throne, not having a worry in the world.

How should mothers apply the abovementioned context today? Mothers and children can snuggle once the mother gets out of the shower, with the mother inviting children to disrobe as well. According to the English common law, as long as there is no sexual intent behind the interaction on either end, it is not a sex crime to snuggle with your children while getting out of the shower. Mothers can also invite children to disrobe at any time, and give them the freedom to run around the house naked, and this brings down the level of attachment to equal level. This involves the mother guiding the child as an equal, in an encouraging and playful way.

When a child is upset, crying, or ramping up, instead of putting them in time-out, you can hold them to your bosom as a mother, head first. Some women wear plunging necklines to serve someone other than their husband or men in general, and instead wear such clothing to serve the needs of their children, making children feel safe while listening to the heartbeat of mothers. This was how mothers reassured their children in biblical times.

The Bible is an attachment parenting document, meaning attachment parenting was the established norm when the Bible was written. The people in the biblical context would have understood the parenting commands in both Colossians and Ephesians in that light, meaning it was believed then that God ordained the attachment parenting setup as a form of customary law. God writes to His Audience, and without His Audience, the Bible would have no objective meaning, and people could make of it whatever they wanted.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

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