Pro-social masochism, pro-social formal/informal: Why to fear your child

Many parents think that they are the boss, and that they tell children what to do. This is a common stance among parents. Authoritarian parenting is when there is a strong authority figure in parenting. Pro-social masochism attachment parenting is when children are the boss in a parenting relationship.

I myself am a fearful and timid attached parent to children. Rarely do I get the chance to deal with children up close, but when I do, I am afraid of them, yet am not scared of them. I am struck with reverent fear and terror by their mere presence, in a shake and quake type of way, not questioning their needs as they demand them. I speak in formalities to children in public, perhaps thanking them when they hold the door, just as I would recognize good deeds in an adult. When a child invites me to casual conversation, and only then, I will let go of formalities and hang out with the child. That is my role as a man in gentle parenting. All of the snuggling and cuddling is for the womenfolk to relate to children with. I tend to let children order me around, with me being their trusty servant to boss me around, with me surrendering to their demands, rarely ever saying "no". It is scary to say "no" to a child, because then they melt down, and then I feel the need to reassure them.

The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting relationship is Christian Agape love for children, as denoted in the New Testament by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao), which is prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a fearful and convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in the good works of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This is secure rest of children in the submission of parents, meaning their good works. In biblical times, this was seen as the parents were servants of God, with children being extensions of God. Children were authority figures in the home, demanding their every need, knowing they would get most of what they wanted, and all of what they needed.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, as defined under biblical law, at minimum, is the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment, in context, was understood as prohibiting punitive parenting measures such as any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children, regardless. Paul here was lifting up the Law on theft and kidnapping in particular - but especially kidnapping - and rebuking Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking children into the church, with the Greek Christian parents misusing the book of Proverbs to justify their punishment habits. Paul was explaining, from prison, that all seven of the rod verses in Proverbs are repealed verses, as they refer chiefly to legal practices conducted within Judaism in the form of judicial corporal punishment, with fathers acting in a legal capacity when issuing 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction. Such was only for ADULT children. MINOR children could not be punished for anything, as they could not stand trial, and thus could not be charged with any criminal offense or civil wrong. They could only stand trial as the plaintiff in a child abuse case.

Children are the boss, in terms of biblical parenting. Children are to call the shots, in terms of what happens at home. Children know what they need, even if they have trouble expressing it. Parents should tend to their children, and should be motivated on the level of reverent fear. Reverent fear is denoted in the New Testament by the Greek root word ψοβός (Latin: phobos) and refers to a certain spark that prompts the Christian into action, and in the realm of parenting, it is a specific charge that prompts the parent to conviction, in which case conviction leads to things such as reassuring upsets and obeying the needs of the child.

Adult men are prone to sexual entitlement in relation to children, as a whole. Thus, fathers in Christian attachment parenting homes should use the pro-social formal/informal mode of communication with children. The idea is to take up the conviction that you are not even entitled to speech with your child, and keep all speech to what is necessary. Then, when the child says it is okay to interact in a casual manner, then, and only then, should formalities be dropped. A father is not to touch his son or daughter without the child's permission, and even then, the mother can overrule the child if she sees danger in the interaction, perhaps shielding the child from parent sexual entitlement. All of this is motivated by reverent fear of children.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!