Skin-to-skin closeness: Why children need to be close to mothers

Many parents think that children should be fearfully compliant, and the parenting strategy that would allow for that type of relationship would be punishment. The Bible is a common excuse for abuse among law-abiding parents. The biblical goal in parenting is a secure parent-child bond. How do you get there? Skin-to-skin closeness is crucial in an attached Christian parenting relationship with a child.

The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting relationship is Christian love, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao). This refers to Christian Agape love, which prioritizes children first, and yourself as the parent last, in a convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This form of respect for children does not come from fearful compliance, but instead restful trust in children, with children telling parents anything and everything that is on their mind, including admissions of wrongdoing or non-conforming traits, expecting absolutely no punishment or reprisal in return. Children in this sort of loving environment will then want to be like a parent, then take after their parents in terms of traits, following their example. This doesn't happen right away, as children of a certain age and developmental level might not listen to instructions because they don't understand what is being asked of them. Children will then follow the example of parents once they become young adults, if parents raise them properly, meaning without modeling entitlement or violence.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, under biblical law, at minimum, refers to the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. Child abuse, in biblical times, was prosecutable, at minimum, as kidnapping/grand theft, but also fornication in the case of sexual abuse. In this commandment, the Apostle Paul was lifting up the Law against punishment and controlling demeanor towards children, rebuking Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking children into the church. Christian parents of Greek origin were misusing the book of Proverbs to justify their punishment habit even in the 1st Century, when this passage was written. Paul here was warning parents that Proverbs is simply wisdom literature - a list of wise sayings - and not a book of parenting commands. The sayings in Proverbs about the rod of correction, meaning all seven of them, do not have to do with raising children, but instead have to do with an archaic practice in Judaism, meaning a form of judicial corporal punishment known as the 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction.

There is a quick way to deal with crying in any child, if you are his/her mother - hold the child to the top of the bosom, meaning the top cleavage end of the bosom, and then reassure your child. This is something mothers did in biblical times to reassure their children. That part of the mother's body - the bosom - is there to nurture children, not for men to look at and objectify. 

Children in biblical times went naked wherever they went. Women, at the same time, were naked in the home to serve both their husbands and their children, separately. Children snuggled next to mothers in skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. This is how mothers bonded with their children in biblical times. When mothers went out to run errands for their families, children were wrapped up next to their bosom in swaddling blankets, with children up until age 6 soaking up the rays from their mother's bosom. 

There are many ways to apply the Bible to your bond with your child. One way is to disrobe and invite them to disrobe too, and then snuggle with them. A quick way to do this is to find time to snuggle with them when getting out of the shower. Usually, children will undress for their mothers, and will trust mothers in seeing them naked. If they instead cover up, or layer up, they might be being sexually abused, and the first place to suspect is someone in the home. 

The best way to be a biblical attachment parent is to allow children to be fully naked at all times when in the house. This lowers the level of attachment in parents, especially when coupled with skin-to-skin closeness, and allows parents to be as immature as their children, but in a guiding way that can easily influence children, meaning parents in biblical times guided children on their level. Fathers had parent attractions to their children, but usually this appeared as the father wanting to nurture the children and take initiative, but with mothers knowing that there was more to the story. True attachment parenting of the biblical variety encourages child nudity in the home, as well as the mother being naked too when snuggling up next to her children. There are different settings on the level of nudity in the home that a parent is willing to tolerate, but if you are unwilling to lie down naked with your child, you are missing out on a lot. If you are attracted to the closeness yourself, you shouldn't be a parent, as mothers can usually hide any sexual instinct towards their children completely, in a way fathers cannot.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!