Punishment of children: Why it is prohibited in the Bible

Many parents think that they have the "right" to punish their children, and then cite the Bible as evidence. Usually, they cite obscure verses in Proverbs that refer instead to dated legal procedures specific to the Old Testament. The fact of the matter is that punishment is banned in the Bible, as it is considered a provocation to anger against children when understood in context.

The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting relationship is Christian love, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao). This refers to Christian Agape love, or prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This form of respect for parents does not come from fearful compliance, but instead comes from restful trust in parents, with children telling parents anything and everything that is on their mind, including admissions of wrongdoing and non-conforming traits, expecting absolutely no punishment or reprisal in return. Children in this sort of secure and loving environment took after their parents, wanting to be like parents, then following the example of parents. Children didn't listen to the example of parents right away, as children engaged in childish behaviors expected based on their age and developmental level. One can instruct a child, but when they don't heed instruction, it should be assumed that they don't understand what is being asked of them given their age and developmental level. Children will get it, and take after their parents in exemplary manner, but only after becoming young adults and shaking off the closeness of their parents.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, under biblical law, at minimum, is defined as the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. In this commandment, the Apostle Paul is lifting up the Law against punishment and controlling demeanor towards children, rebuking Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking children into the church. Christian parents of Greek origin were misusing the book of Proverbs to justify their punitive parenting habits even in the 1st Century, when this passage was recorded. Paul was warning parents that Proverbs is wisdom literature - a list of wise sayings - and not a parenting manual. The rod verses - all seven of them - do not refer to raising children, but to a legal practice within Judaism where the father of a capital offender was subpoenaed to issue 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction as a means of warning the offending ADULT child that they are scheduled to be put to death if the offending habit continued.

Punishment of ALL children, in ALL cases, is prohibited under the Christian command not to provoke a child to anger. False teachings in favor of punishment of children originate from the Roman Catholic Church pandering to European pagans, most of whom beat their children as a means of disciplining them. The early European peoples were not nice people to their children, and would not give up their punishment habits for anything, and so the Roman Catholic Church simply pandered to them, mistranslating the original Greek and Hebrew commands on parenting and misapplying them to excuse the pagan habits of their parishioners, as a means to win them over. A notable group of people that held punitive customs against children were the Anglo-Saxons, who were Roman Catholic when they settled the lower part of the British Isles. Spanking was then brought to the United States as per the English common law, which allows for "reasonable chastisement" for punishing a child. However, God's Law is above the law of the land, and punishing a child is a provocation to anger against your child. It is a form of parental entitlement to punish your child, and the Bible doesn't differentiate parental entitlement as better than all the other forms of entitlement out there.

What should parents do instead? In biblical times, attachment parenting was the established norm. Children up until age 6 were inseparable from their mothers. They ranged next to her by day, and slept next to her by night. Children went naked wherever they went, and mothers traditionally went naked in the family home, in order to serve their husbands and children, separately. Mothers and children snuggled next to each other in skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. Children were co-mingled to their mother's bosom and back using swaddling blankets and papoose bags. Older children, in the Early Church in particular, found religion and then studied it, with fathers in particular encouraging the religious education of their children. Mothers nurtured closely, and fathers nurtured from a distance, with fathers speaking to children on formal terms until the child "broke the ice" and allowed for casual conversation. This precaution was due to parent attraction on the father's part, which is a consequence of most attachment parenting, even today. The goal in Christian parenting in biblical times was a secure parent-child bond, where children felt completely safe in relation to parents and could tell parents anything...The context contained herein is applicable today just as it was always. Maybe some of it is dated, but it can be applied to the degree that it can be applied.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!