Why to have a secure parent-child bond with your child

Many parents think children need to be in fearful compliance to adults, and be afraid of adults, and that the Bible commands it all. This is a misunderstanding of both children and Scripture. God wants parents to have a secure parent-child bond. 

Christian love is the centerpiece of a Christian parenting relationship, and is denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This form of respect for parents does not come from fearful compliance, but instead comes from restful trust in parents, with children telling parents anything and everything that is on their mind, including admissions of wrongdoing, expecting absolutely no punishment or reprisal in return. This sort of environment leads to children following the example of parents, wanting to be like either a combination of both parents or a preferred parent.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, under biblical law, at minimum, is defined as the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including the slightest of offensive touch and speech perceived by the child. In this commandment, the Apostle Paul was lifting up the Law against punishment and controlling demeanor towards children, rebuking Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking children into the church. Christian parents of Greek descent were misusing the book of Proverbs to justify their punishment and abuse of children even in the 1st Century, when this passage was written. Paul himself was anti-spanking, and opposed punishing a child for any reason.

The goal of every Christian parent was a secure parent-child bond. Mothers and fathers took different roles in raising children. Mothers took the role of providing nourishment and sustenance, namely breastmilk and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. Children went naked wherever they went, and women were traditionally naked in the family home, both to serve their husbands and their children separately. Children were served by mothers snuggling next to them with both mother and child in the nude, in skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. Fathers took a more casual role that was encouraging in nature, namely by encouraging a child's self-chosen religious education. Fathers usually had a parent attraction of a connotational nature, meaning an attraction on the level of "sun tan spray". The ancients did have a concept of child sexual abuse, and raping or sexually assaulting a child under the age of majority was seen as wicked and evil. Fathers displayed their parent attractions to the court by speaking of their children, especially older daughters, in baroque, flowery language. Most men had some level of pedophilia then, usually for their own children and not so much other children...Some of this context is dated, but much of it can be applied today as it was then.

If a child is crying, there is a quick maneuver to deal with the crying. Mothers in particular should hold their child to their bosom and reassure them. This form of closeness stops crying immediately, while at the same time encouraging openness and honesty with parents. The first step is to hold the child to your bosom as a mother, and the second step is to reassure them of your presence. Fathers can reassure children too. Children under age 3 can be held in the arms of fathers, and older children can be held over his shoulder, when he knows that he isn't touching them for sexual reasons. A woman's bosom is for nurturing children, not for men to objectify. Men may find the bosom of a mother attractive, but it is primarily there for a secure parent-child bond between mother and child.

The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which  is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!