Crying: Why this is not bad behavior

Many parents think that crying in a child is bad behavior. Most adults understand that crying in an infant is a cry for help, but don't understand why toddlers and young children cry. The fact of the matter is that most children cry for needs, not to undermine parents. Crying is not bad behavior.

The centerpiece of a Christian parenting relationship is Christian love, and is denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao), and refers to putting children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This form of respect for parents does not come from fearful compliance, but instead restful trust, with children venting everything into parents, including upsets and frustrations, expecting absolutely no punishment or reprisal in return. Attachment parenting was the norm in Ancient Israel and the Early Church. Think a Christian mother holding pales of water, with a young child wrapped up next to her bosom in swaddling blankets, and an older child strapped to her back in a papoose bag. Boil over, then safe. That was how Christian parenting was then.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse is defined as the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child. In this commandment, the Apostle Paul is lifting up the Law on punishment and control, rebuking Greek Christians for bringing their pagan custom of spanking children into the church, misusing the book of Proverbs even then as an excuse for abuse even then. Paul warned the Greek Christians in Colossae that Proverbs is simply wisdom literature, and is not a book about raising children.

Crying is a common reason for punishment in the United States. However, children of all ages cry for the same reason an infant cries - they need love. Children in biblical times were comforted by their mother whenever they would cry, or even when they were physically aggressive towards parents. Hebrew and Christian parents then were some of the most non-shaming, reassuring parents ever to walk the face of the earth. Children did not leave the side of their mothers until age 6, and that was to reassure credible fears of predation - fathers were attracted to their children sexually, but usually at a low, connotational level (good, decent fathers discharged the parent attraction regularly using masturbation to replace sexual relations with a child)...This context might be a little dated, but it can be applied today, perhaps with some tweaking. See paragraph below.

Crying has a simple solution that is comforting and reassuring to a child. Simply hold the child lightly to the top of your bosom, if you are the child's mother, and let them cry into your chest, with you reassuring them with "I'm here to listen" or simply "I'm here". This is what was done in the biblical context, only in skin-to-skin fashion, as children and mothers were naked in the home, and children went naked everywhere. Children usually stop crying, as their cup of attachment needs was met. It is prudent to communicate with children as to what is wrong (ex. "What's the matter, [X name of child]?"). Respond to every childhood cry in the loving, nurturing way like you would an infant, and this right here is a rule of thumb in parenting...The context contained in this paragraph can be applied today, if both mother and child have sexually pure intent. Sexual battery/assault laws only apply if the interaction has sexual motives on one end or both.

Crying is not bad behavior. It is understandable as a way for a young child, or sometimes even older children in the case of developmental disabilities such as autism spectrum disorders (ASDs), to communicate a need, including an attachment need, or maybe especially an attachment need. Some children cry for attention, in which case you give them the attention they need. Children should cry, and we should instead worry when they don't cry, because then they may mistrust the adult in a way that they wouldn't vent their feelings into the adult. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!