Crying: Why children of all ages should be allowed to cry

Crying is seen as a behavioral issue in children by a lot of parents. Most parents in the United States punish their children for crying once over a certain age, or at all with some parents. However, crying is communication in all children, not just babies. Your child cries for the same reason a baby does - the child wants love.

The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting relationship is Christian love, as denoted in the New Testament by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or anything else, with children resting safely and securely in parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This form of respect for parents does not come from fearful compliance, but from restful trust in parents, with children being able to vent anything and everything into parents, crying out for love and then being listened to. Children, once in a restful, listening environment, start following the example of parents, taking after a parent (usually of the same sex), wanting to be like parents. Children don't immediately take after parents. Below a certain age, they cannot possibly hold the same standards that parents hold to themselves, but they try, fall down, get up, then try again. Parents should be the primary role models of children, and should treat children the way they want their children to treat others when they are older.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, under biblical law, at minimum, is the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement, with entitlement being want to the point of imposition. In this commandment, the Apostle Paul was lifting up the Law against punishment and controlling demeanor towards children, rebuking Greek Christian parents for bringing their pagan custom of spanking children into the church. Christian parents of Greek origin were misusing the book of Proverbs to justify their punitive parenting habits even in the 1st Century, when this passage was recorded. Paul was warning these parents that Proverbs is simply wisdom literature - a list of sayings - and not a book that gives parenting commands. Paul was anti-spanking, and opposed all punishment of a child, as was King Solomon. The rod verses in Proverbs does not refer to parenting, but to a custom of judicial corporal punishment in Judaism, as it was practiced during Solomon's time - the 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction. All of these verses are repealed verses, meaning all seven of them.

Children cry for a specific reason - they need love. That isn't only a reason for babies to cry. Not just babies cry because they want love. Young children, and sometimes even older children with a developmental disability and/or mood disorder, cry because they want attention. When a child cries to seek out attention, give them some attention - maybe take them for a walk, maybe also talk about something that interests them. Some children need very little attention, some children need constant attention, and everywhere in between. Even when you are supervising a child, that may not be enough attention.

There is a quick way for a mother to soothe the crying of her child - hold the child close to the top of the mother's bosom. In a family home, this can be done with a mother completely or partially disrobing, and inviting the child to do so as well, with the child being held at the upper cleavage end of the bosom. Nude skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy with a child is not sexual battery if there is no sexual intent on either end. The bosom of mothers is there to nurture children, not for men to sexually objectify and leer at. In public, simply holding a child to that area of the bosom can stop the crying within seconds, and then the child, if they have the words, will tell you why they were upset. Fathers can reassure children too, and should expect to feel parent attraction in a way that may make them more motivated to be a nurturing and loving father, but not enough attraction to lead to sexual abuse. Reassurance from fathers should come in the form of holding a child under age 3 in his arms, and with older children, holding them to his shoulder to give children a shoulder to cry on.

The abovementioned parenting methods were used in biblical times. Children up until age 6 did not leave the side of mothers. Children went naked, and women went naked in the home as well to serve both their children and their husband, separately. Mothers served their children by giving them full skin-to-skin closeness, being co-mingled to her with swaddling blankets when out in public, then sleeping next to her children in skin-to-skin closeness by night. Children rested in their mother's bosom, and were invited forth to her bosom when they were crying or upset.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices. Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!