Understanding the Fifth Commandment in context (why blind compliance is not a command)

Many parents believe use the Fifth Commandment as an excuse to demand respect in the form of blind compliance towards parents. The Fifth Commandment is a common excuse for abuse. But, is it really intended as a way to shut down a child's demands for needs? It isn't. 

The Fifth Commandment says in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

The actual meaning of this commandment, in context, is not blind compliance to parents, but instead enacts legislation against elder abuse. Elder abuse was rampant in biblical times, and the victim was often blamed. Parents in Ancient Israel were often beaten and subject to gaslighting by their adult children. So, God laid down the parent protection laws, with "do not curse parents" meaning do not administer gaslighting spells to them, and "do not strike parents" meaning do not beat your parents into oblivion, or put your hands on them violently. Parents were blamed for their own abuse that they endured. The attitude was that children "must have learned it from somewhere". Today, the Fifth Commandment means that adults can disagree with their parents, even strongly and fervently, but they have to do so respectfully, instead of beating and bludgeoning parents, and taking advantage of them. I myself have to answer to this, as do many young people today, as I struck out at my mother after being startled by losing the "POST" button on my Facebook page. If you feel that you dishonored a parent, then you did, and you need to apologize. That is, for actual abuse like what I did, meaning things such as putting your hands on a parent violently and possibly leaving marks. I answer to the court for what I did to her. I choke up when I think about it.

The Fifth Commandment means something different for Christian children. Parents are to impart Christian love to children, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to being convicted of a child's every need, with children coming first, and parents last, to the point of dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting in the safety and security of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This form of respect does not involve blind, fearful compliance to parents, but instead surrender into the loving arms of parents, with children being able to tell parents anything and everything that is on their mind, including confessions of wrongdoing, expecting absolutely no punishment or reprisal in return. Parents are to be bondservants beholden to their child's every need, in the form of righteous enslavement to children. Parenting in Ancient Israel and the Early Church was attachment-based in nature, meaning attachment parenting was the established norm in Hebrew and Christian society. Think a Christian mother holding pales of water, with a young child wrapped next to her bosom in swaddling blankets, and an older child strapped to the young mother's back in a papoose bag. Boil over, then safe. Those were the days. THAT is how children should rest and trust in parents.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context, meaning the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including the slightest of offensive touch and speech, coming from entitlement. In this commandment, the Apostle Paul was lifting up the Law on punishment and controlling demeanor towards children, rebuking Greek Christians with a punishment habit. Punitive parenting came from Ancient Greco-Roman society, not the book of Proverbs, meaning Greek Christians were using Proverbs to justify their abuse towards their children. The seven verses in Proverbs that depict the rod are repealed verses, meaning they are only relevant to the cultural and legal context of the time. This is because they do not refer to "biblical spanking" but to a specific, dated form of judicial corporal punishment - the 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction, as a final warning before putting an ADULT child to death, administered to the bare back and not the buttocks, after adequate due process leading to a criminal conviction in a court of law. MINOR children could not be whipped for anything, as a whipping required court approval, and minor age was a defense under Jewish law. Punishment and controlling demeanor towards children was dealt with severely in biblical times, with punitive parents being put to death in the Old Testament for kidnapping, by way of bloodletting. In the New Testament, punitive parents were excommunicated from church communities.

Many parents are friends with their children once their children become adults. Attachment parenting is about forming a secure parent-child bond from day one, and was the proper, normative parenting in biblical times. The Fifth Commandment meant then for minor children that there needed to be a secure parent-child bond, and that children needed to be able to trust parents enough to rest in their loving arms. A secure parent-child bond is about friendship with children, meaning spending quality time with them, and bonding with them. With young children, this is done through nourishment and sustenance, namely breastmilk and skin-to-skin contact, namely snuggling with mothers. 

In biblical times, mothers slept next to children in the nude, with children going naked everywhere they went, and mothers traditionally being naked in a home setting. Children up until age 6 never left their mother's side, and were always either sleeping next to their mother in the nude, or co-mingled next to her. This was the rest referred to in Col. 3:20, meaning children were to rest securely and safely with parents through surrendering to maternal sustenance and nourishment, as well as fatherly lessons that cultivated the child's natural curiosity, encouraging a child's natural interest in religion and theology, which usually starts at age 6.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Many will be called to be Christians, but few chosen, as so many parents punish their children. Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!