The attachment parenting traditions of the Bible

Many parents think the Bible commands the punishment of children. This is a common misconception about Scripture. The fact of the matter is that the Bible is an attachment parenting document, meaning attachment parenting is Christian tradition. We as a culture draw from the teachings and context of the Bible to tell us how to live our lives as Americans, and most Americans still believe in God and read the Bible, with the majority of our country being Christians. Attachment parenting is the one Christian way to raise a child.

What is the core of true biblical parenting? Christian love, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers here to being convicted of the every need of one's child, putting children first, and parents last, to the point of dutiful and selfless submission to the every vulnerable need of children, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This isn't a respect based off of fearful compliance, but instead out of restful surrender to the loving arms of parents, being able to tell parents absolutely anything and everything that is on their mind, including confessing wrongdoing, expecting absolutely no punishment or reprisal in return. Parents then were regarded as servants of God, meaning not authority figures, with children being in place of God. Parents in biblical times were seen as objects and tools for their children's every need, namely milking-objects for children to milk whatever they needed from parents. Biblical parents were bondservants to a child's every need, righteously enslaved to their needs. Think a mother carrying pales of water, with her carrying a young child wrapped up in her bosom, and an older child strapped to the back of the mother in a papoose bag, with the mother gathering water to cook food with and to drink. Boil over, then safe. That is how restful surrender to parents looked in Ancient Israel and the Early Church. The goal in biblical parenting then was closeness, not compliance or fear.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. This refers to the slightest of personal offenses perceived by the child, including the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. In this commandment, the Apostle Paul was lifting up the Law on punishment and controlling demeanor towards children, rebuking Greek Christian parents that had a punishment habit that they used Scripture to justify. Punishment and controlling demeanor towards children was dealt with severely under the Law, with the act of punishing a child being seen as pure and utter witchcraft, to the point of incurring bloodlust. The seven verses in Proverbs that depict the rod of correction are repealed verses, as they are only relevant to the cultural and legal context that they were given to. That is because they refer not to "biblical spanking" but to a dated form of judicial corporal punishment, closely conflated with the death penalty in Ancient Israel - the 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction, administered to the bare back of an ADULT child of any age, after adjudication in a criminal court of law. MINOR children could not legally be whipped, as they were deemed by the Law to be incompetent to stand trial while under the age of majority, meaning children were protected by an age of infancy defense, and parents were the ones that were deemed guilty.

Mothers and fathers took different roles in raising children. Mothers provided nourishment and sustenance to children, meaning breastmilk and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. Children went naked all of the time, and this kept the level of attachment at equal, with parents "growing up with" their children. Mothers slept next to their naked children, with herself naked, in close intimacy to one another. Mothers traditionally went naked when inside the home, then wearing a thin dress when leaving the home. Fathers were more passive in their interactions with their children, like a human ragdoll. This is because they had visceral level parent attraction on the connotational "sun tan spray" level. Though attachment parenting pedophilia was normal then, it was only acceptable in abstinent format, meaning sexually abusing a child was seen as wicked or depraved in nature, in a way that defiled the offender of children. Fathers instead presented their pedophilic attractions to the court by speaking of their children in a baroque, flowery manner that put their children - especially older daughters - on a pedestal, much like a deity of sorts. Fathers especially, but also mothers to a great deal, were reverently afraid of their children, in a passive way that allowed them to have near infinite patience with a child, and then parents cried when they had enough...Some of this context might be dated, but most of it can be applied, maybe or maybe not with some tweaking. The English common law, our nation's legal tradition, states that sexual battery requires intent to sexually arouse or gratify, so most parents should be safe. 

Free play was allowed in biblical times, albeit with children closely supervised. Parents, though they were supervisory figures, rarely intervened in the free play of children, meaning they only intervened when safety was at sake, including for the preservation of a young girl's virginity. The most high-stakes game was "marriage". Christian marriage is defined in the Bible by the sexual union between husband and wife, and most children who pretend-played a marriage simply embraced each other, being too scared to go all the way. But, children were naked then, and when a boy showed the intent to go all the way, the two were separated, the sternest of all consequences meted out by a Christian parent in the 1st Century. The boy was then told "you'll get a chance someday" reassuringly. True biblical parents in Ancient Israel and the Early Church were some of the most non-shaming parents about sexual and bodily autonomy issues out there.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!