Pro-social shyness: Why this is a good parenting attitude

Many parents are fed the lie that they need to be empowered and in charge. This is a common misconception from parents who support parental rights. The fact of the matter is that God wants you as a parent to be shy around your child, and for that to be the attitude you take towards your child.

The Greek root word denoting entitlement in the New Testament, and cross-referencing the Tenth Commandment, is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers here to parental entitlement, meaning officially wanting things from or of children to the point of imposition, leading to an offense. Unofficially, though, it refers basically to every want from a child. And, don't we all as adults want things from children? But it is good to not want anything from a child, and if you do want something from them, calmly and politely ask them for a favor, and if they like you and respect you, they will do as you wish, unless they can't developmentally, in which case the child should simply be kept safe.

Every single adult is guilty in relation to children, and is deserving of DEATH and DESTRUCTION merely for existing in relation to children, with parents/adults being obligated to be meek and shamefaced in relation to children, shut up in the Lord, with their ill will towards their children silenced. Parents especially are to esteem their children above all else, putting children first, and parents last, to the point of dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting in the safety and security of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This refers to a specific dynamic known as pro-social siphon, meaning the rambunctiousness of children is channeled towards parents, with children giving orders, demands, and a redress of grievances, and parents taking it all passively. Children should be allowed to tell parents anything and everything, including even harsh criticism of how they are being parented.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including the slightest of offensive touch or speech, coming from entitlement. The Apostle Paul here was lifting up the Law on punishing children, in which case punitive parenting was dealt with severely by the religious authorities throughout the Bible. Punishing a child was seen by the Law as kidnapping/grand theft, and led to parents and other adults guilty of such abuse being excommunicated from their parish. Punitive parents in the Old Testament were put to death by way of chenek (bloodletting, hanging up parents like poultry). The rod verses in Proverbs are repealed verses, meaning they only apply to the cultural and legal context that they are written to. This is because they reference not "biblical spanking" but a dated form of judicial corporal punishment closely conflated with the death penalty in ancient Israel - the 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction, intended as a final warning for an ADULT child, before being put to death, after a criminal trial to give the suspect ample due process. Minor children could not legally be whipped, as they were deemed incompetent to stand trial, and thus were not culpable for the crimes they committed. Corporal punishment was not used in the Early Christian context except between spouses as a form of mutual accountability that was agreed-upon in nature. Children were not bound by the Law, and so they could not get the legal consequence of spanking like a wife could if she willingly submitted to it. The idea behind the defense of infancy in the Bible is that if you weren't taught all of the Law, you might as well have been taught none of it, thus children then had to learn ALL of the Law before being bound by its authority.

Parents, meaning mothers and fathers both, served different roles in raising children in biblical times. Mothers provided nourishment and sustenance, meaning breastmilk and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy respectively. Mothers were meek and dutiful towards their children, nourishing them, feeding them mother's milk, bonding with them in a secure parent-child bond. Fathers were shy around children, being led all around the place like a ragdoll by the child, not having much to say in the matter. This is because fathers had parent attraction to their children due to the egalitarian nature of parenting, meaning connotational sexual attraction to children like "sun tan oil". Both parents were shy types around their children, with children being loud and rambunctious, being expected to rebel and order parents around, with parents giving up and giving in to the demands of children, surrendering to their petitions for a redress of grievances. Parents didn't say much, but instead provided without argument or delay. Children in biblical times were demanding, with parents surrendering to their demands and petitions for a redress of grievances, not arguing, and crying when they lost their patience. Parents then had no parent anger to unleash on children when they lost their cool, and that's why they had a ball of tears at the end of their rope.

Shyness in parenting is not wanting things from children to the point of non-speech or infrequent speech. When you internalize that children owe you nothing, you become silent and shut up in the Lord, quietened by being a convicted adult. Pro-social shyness is where you quietly give up and give in to your child's demands, instead of imposing your own demands on them. Parents and adults both are entitled to nothing from children, and are to be grateful for the every joy their child brings them. That attitude leads to a chastened up example for children, meaning one that is quiet and slow to speak, but quick to listen.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!