"Honor parents": Understanding the Fifth Commandment in context

Many parents think the Fifth Commandment to honor parents means to demand respect from children. This is a common misconception about the Fifth Commandment. The Fifth Commandment does not call for parents to demand respect, as this is parental entitlement, and all entitlement is a sin against God.

The Fifth Commandment states in Exodus 20:17 KJV:

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

The commandment to honor parents basically is a law prohibiting elder abuse, with parent protection laws being valid in the Old Testament, and referring to the Fifth Commandment. Elder abuse was rampant in biblical times. Children would send children on gaslighting trips ("do not curse your parents") or else simply beat them and bludgeoned them in a predatory manner ("do not strike your parents"). Jewish society then saw parents as vulnerable givers of nourishment, sustenance, and comfort, meaning parents in that society took a servile role towards even their adult children in practice. Parents very rarely got out the law, but they could if they wanted to assert their right not to be subject to elder abuse. In Ancient Israel, the culture held that children who behaved violently towards their parents, even as adults, "must have learned it from somewhere", and thus the victim was blamed even for horrendous forms of elder abuse, with elder victims not even feeling safe speaking against their children who were abusing them. That was the prelude to the parent protection laws. Those laws do not apply today, as they are not mentioned anywhere in the New Testament. The commandment to honor parents means that parents deserve basic respect when confronted about an issue or miscommunication, or when rebuked by children for abuse. That means do not strike a parent who does not strike you. Reverse gaslighting of parents is allowed, but not going on the offensive and taking advantage of them.

How should children be raised today? Christian love is the answer, with said love being denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao). This form of love involves being convicted of one's child's needs, putting children first, and parents last, to the point of dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This is a respect for parents not based on fearful compliance, but openness, honesty, and transparency, meaning children can tell parents anything and everything under the sun, even confessing to wrongdoing, and expecting absolutely no punishment or reprisal in return. Parents then were seen as servants of God, not authority figures, with children being in place of God. In biblical times, parents were there to be used like objects for the child's needs, like a milking-object that gives to children plentifully, with parents being extensions of Christ serving children as a Godhead. Children in biblical times were demanding in nature, ordering their parents around, perhaps screaming in their face, and parents dutifully responded, giving in and giving up, surrendering to the needs of their child, leading to mutual submission between parent and child.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. This refers to the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child. In this commandment, the Apostle Paul was lifting up the Law on punishment and controlling demeanor towards children. Punitive parents were dealt with severely in Ancient Israel and the Early Church, and were put to death by bloodletting in Ancient Israel. They were excommunicated from their church community in the Early Church. The seven verses in Proverbs are repealed verses, meaning they are only relevant to the cultural and legal context in which they were given. This is because these verses reference a dated form of judicial corporal punishment conflated with the death penalty in Ancient Israel - the 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction, intended as a final warning before an ADULT child was put to death, after a criminal conviction in a court of law. MINOR children could not be charged due to incompetence in terms of standing trial for criminal offenses or civil wrongs that they committed. 

In reality, mothers and fathers served different roles in the Early Church, with mothers giving nourishment and sustenance to their children, meaning breastmilk and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy respectively. Children went naked wherever they went, and mothers too were naked within the realm of the family home, and so children and mothers snuggled in nude intimacy, with children under age three suckling on the breast of their mothers before being weaned at around age 3. Fathers were, in fact, more passive. Usually, Christian men were sturdy and steadfast, in a stoic way, but they melted for their children, as they had connotational sexual attraction to their children, at the level of "sun tan spray". Sexually abusing a child in any way was seen as wicked and evil then. Fathers instead put their children - especially older daughters - on a pedestal, and spoke of them in baroque, flowery language that showed their parent attraction in a pro-social honest fashion. Fathers were very sensitive to their children's needs in the Early Church, being charitable like Christ, but in the form of a human ragdoll - children showed fathers the sights that they saw as interesting. Fathers basically hung out with children in a casual fashion, whereas mothers were more nurturing in a closer, more sustaining way, holding their children close, and guarding them at times from a father's parent attraction.

Parenting was servile in biblical times, meaning parents were not authority figures for their children then. They were caregivers beholden to their children as bondservants. Parents were there for children for whenever children needed them, either for nourishment, sustenance, or just plain comfort and reassurance. Parenting was likened to serving God through one's own child, as the mood and whims of children were seen then as signs of God, meaning you appeased the gods meaning the children. Children were seen as godly, but in an imperfect way, meaning they were seen as rebellious in nature, and the key to family harmony was to please and appease children, keeping them happy. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven at hand!