Why children don't need rules

Many parents think children need rules. This is a common misconception about children, ultimately stemming from a misunderstanding about what the Bible says about parenting. Children do not need rules, as they absorb information about morality and the world around them.

The Apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, for this is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to a specific standard of Christian discipline in parents in relation to children, namely one that is entitled to nothing, and grateful for everything, especially in relation to children. Children owe parents nothing, and parents owe children everything, and this leads to a chastened up example for children to follow, backed up by the occasional instruction as a righteous test - this means that a child is given an instruction once, and if they don't follow parental instruction, it is assumed that they are too young to understand the instructions given their age and development, and are kept safe through logical consequence. Most childhood behaviors are left go, and assumed to be phases, with only the unsafe behavior or unattainable/unsafe wants leading to a verbal warning from a parent, with this warning being denoted by the Greek root word νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia), with this referring to parental instruction in the form of verbal warning and reproof, allowing children a chance to not listen, in which case at least they were warned. This is all weighed by the Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages, meaning the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including the slightest of offense touch or speech perceived by the child, with this including striking or punishing a child for any reason. The Apostle Paul here was lifting up the Law on punishing children. The punishment of children carried severe penalties in biblical times, and incurred bloodlust in both the Old and New Testament. The rod verses in the book of Proverbs, meaning all seven of them, are repealed verses, as they are only relevant to the context that they were given, as advice and not a legally binding command. These seven verses all refer not to spanking, but to a dated form of judicial corporal punishment conflated with the death penalty in Ancient Israel - the 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction, as a final warning before an errant ADULT child was put to death. Only adult children were whipped, and rarely were they whipped for offenses against parents, as minor children could not be charged with a criminal offense or civil wrong - their parents were responsible for any mischief from their children that lead to offense, and had to apologize in court.

Children need some motivation to learn and absorb morality from a parent. Christian love does the trick, with this being esteeming children first, and parents last, to the point of dutiful and selfless submission to children, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with this leading to children resting in the love and grace of parents, denoted by the English word "obey" in which case the corresponding Greek root word υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo). This refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. It is a resting type of respect where children feel safe telling parents anything and everything under the sun, without mincing words, telling parents off if necessary.

Mothers and fathers had different roles in biblical parenting. Mothers provided nourishment and sustenance, through breastmilk and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy respectively, with children being weaned by the time they were 3, or maybe even older if they insisted on mother's milk. Fathers were simply best friends with children, esteeming children highly, being like a human ragdoll for them to drag around, especially with older daughters. Fathers usually held connotational sexual attraction to their children, meaning the "sun tan spray" type of attraction. Children usually went completely naked, and this brought the level of attachment down to full equality, which led to the subtle attraction from fathers, usually towards older daughters. To be clear, sexual use or assault of a child was seen as wicked and evil, and deserving of death...This context can be applied to the degree the parent wants it to be applied, but just remember to clothe your infant when they leave the house, so they know that public indecency IS against the law.

Children, in biblical times, played freely, with many of the games having sexual undertones to them, with the most overt one being "marriage", with the marriage contract being the consummation of the marriage, meaning sex was a necessary component of a real-life marriage. Most children simply embraced, but if a boy showed intent to penetrated, the two were kept separate, the most serious consequences in a Hebrew or Christian home.

Children today don't need rules. They need a good example to look up to. Even then, children do not learn everything right away. Children absorb moral lessons and lessons about the world around them at their own pace, from adults they like and respect, but there is usually one adult in their life, usually a parent, that they look up to and form themselves as. But, it happens slowly, not overnight. Most childhood behaviors can be either ignored or responded to as developmentally appropriate. Nudity or partial nudity in a home environment, in our society, is developmentally appropriate behavior, and is to be ignored and maybe laughed about to other parents. Nudity or partial nudity outside the home isn't developmentally appropriate, and is a sign of either autism and/or a sensory processing disorder (SPD). It is good to know the stages of development of one's child, and memorize the chart.

Most children in America get punished for developmentally appropriate behaviors. Most behaviors simply are a phase, meaning if your child is drawing on the wall at age 3, they won't be doing that at age 13. You can tell your child not to draw on the wall, but they won't get it until later, when they will remember you telling them it is wrong to draw on the wall, and by that time they will be too old for that naturally. 

The idea is to model the Christian attitude you want to see in them, but know they will only pick it up at their pace. Children can learn strict discipline, but only if it is modeled to them through example, and only when they pick it up. At certain ages, they should achieve certain milestones, and if they respect a certain adult, they will willfully submit to them for a vocation, eager to learn about God and Jesus, usually in question and answer format. The more you interfere with a child's development using punishment, the less they want to cooperate, and the more they will fight back. Christian parents should model the Living Example of Christ, meaning a charitable example that is entitled to nothing from others, and grateful for everything. Make sure your child thinks you are the coolest parent on the block, so that they take up your example and run with it!

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!