Childhood bipolar disorder: What to do about child aggression (pro-social crying, pro-social vulnerability)

Quite a few parents have children with bipolar disorder. This is actually a diagnosis becoming more common in children, made by child psychiatrists and developmental pediatricians alike. One very challenging aspect of the disorder for parents are the rage attacks, or the temper tantrums associated with bipolar disorder.

Childhood bipolar disorder is usually associated with autism spectrum disorders (ASDs), and the aggressive type. The pattern of the disorder is one of regression. As a child gets older, they usually become more self-controlled and throw less tantrums. With a child with bipolar disorder, they will regress as they get older in terms of aggression, with the aggression becoming worse and worse as the years go by, with the aggression usually staying at home, or else in a school environment that is particularly non-listening.

How should the parenting setup be in a bipolar home. Parenting for these behavioral issues should be more lenient, not more strict, as any control in parenting provokes a willful response in a child, meaning they feel the need to fight back - part of human nature called the counterwill. Parents (and all those in place of parents, such as teachers) are to esteem their children above all else, putting children first, and parents last, leading to submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, leading to secure and safe rest in parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents, with parents being attendant caregivers to children, with parents being a safe place for children to trust in and share their every emotion, upset, and frustration. The Christian doctrine of parent abuse is a list of principles that can be applied to aggressive and behaviorally challenged children. The acronyms associated with parent abuse is pro-social crying, pro-social vulnerability. Rage attacks in a child with bipolar disorder is a form of venting of emotions that cannot be expressed any other way, due to the intensity of the emotional state. It is an act of self-harm imposed on parents, and parents just have to deal with it and put up with it until medication stabilizes the disorder in the child. Parents should listen to the child's emotions beforehand as a preventative measure to having to incur aggression or induce tears in oneself as a parent, meaning the whole environment of the child should be as listening and reassuring as possible, with the word "no" only being used when absolutely necessary when a want is unattainable or unsafe, and only with reassurance that parents do hear out and listen to the child's upset. Such should be a righteous test to determine if children are able to listen given their age and developmental level. Some children do not have the brain size or shape to be able to comprehend certain instructions. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including the slightest of offensive touch and speech. Force is something very specific in the Bible, and is the slightest of offensive touch towards a child. Force is acceptable to the minimum degree necessary for self-defense and/or defense of others in parents in order to prevent death or serious bodily injury in the child, parent, and/or others. Otherwise, parents have no right to defend themselves using force, and must accept force from their child, including any petty injuries that may come from the force from the child. The Apostle Paul gave the command in vs. 21 to lift up the Law on punishing children to Greek Christian parents who supported strongly their pagan and idolatrous custom of spanking children. Punishing a child at all was seen as clear abuse in biblical times, and carried severe penalties, including death in the Old Testament, with the moral crime of punishing children being seen as worthy of death in the Early Church but with Christ pardoning the child abuse offender of the very worst. The rod verses in Proverbs and Hebrews do not refer to spanking, but instead refer to a specific and dated form of judicial corporal punishment closely conflated with the death penalty - the 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction, as a final warning before putting an errant ADULT son to death. Minor children could not be charged with a moral crime of any sort, as they were seen as incompetent to stand trial due to youthful inexperience and lack of knowledge. In the Early Church, corporal punishment was banned apart from the rare spanking of a wife after her surrendering to male accountability, but even then, most Christian men simply forgave their wives when the wives asked for punishment. There is no room in the Bible for punishing a child. Maybe, just maybe, holding an aggressive teenager in a baskethold.

However, it's okay to cry. Yes, crying, in and of itself, usually shuts down meltdowns associated with bipolar disorder. At the end of every Christian parent's rope should be a ball of tears, not a ball of fists. Parent abuse isn't abusing your parents, as that is instead elder abuse. It is submitting to abuse as the parent or parent-figure, knowing you are helpless and vulnerable, and just letting all the tears out, giving in and giving up. Usually, children who have bipolar disorder will want to reassure the parent they just hurt, not take advantage of the tears of parents, and even if they do, there is an end, somewhere in their string of upset.

Sometimes, you need to restrain. Choose the most selfless position possible, meaning the basket-hold should be your first choice. Restraint should only be for pre-teens and teenagers, not younger children, as younger children won't impose much bodily harm on parents, and thus restraint is overkill. A young child may leave marks on a parent, or even break a rib or two, but bruises go away, and broken ribs usually heal themselves. If you have to go to the hospital due to vulnerability tactics on children, maybe you should have restrained them beforehand to the minimum degree of force necessary to contain their aggression. There is no need for parents in loco parentis such as teachers and mental health professionals to use seclusion or aversive techniques in dealing with child aggression.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punishment will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!