Child assertiveness: Why assertiveness in children is a sign of respect in the Bible

Many parents and adults think that respect means keeping children down. This is a common misconception about what the Bible says about respecting parents. The fact of the matter is that respect for parents is children feeling safe saying whatever they want to parents, without hinderance or fear of punishment or reprisal.

I myself do not demand respect from children as an adult. They just respect me - enough to be open and honest about how they really feel about me, regardless of whether I want to hear about me, or at least that is what they are welcome to do anytime, regardless of any higher power telling them otherwise. I am open ears for a child.

Every single parent and adult is guilty in relation to children, and are deserving of DEATH and DESTUCTION merely for existing in relation to children, with parents/adults being meek and shamefaced in relation to children, with parents being shut up in the Lord, speaking to children only at their cue and consent. Parents especially are to esteem their child above all else, putting children first, and parents last, to the point of dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents, with this rest coming from safety and security in the presence of parents, with parents being attendant caregivers to children, with parents being a safe place for children to unload their every emotion, upset, and frustration. Respect for parents is not fear or cowering in their presence, but feeling safe to share with parents anything and everything under the sun, including any upset, frustrations, and petitions for a redress of grievances. Parents are to tolerate even outright rebellion from their children to create space for children to safely communicate their needs to parents. Attachment parenting was the norm in biblical times. Think a mother holding pales of water, with a young child being wrapped up next to his mother's bosom in swaddling blankets, with an older child, in the nude, in tow next to her mother. That was the parenting then, in biblical times.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages, or the slightest of personal offenses perceived by the child, including the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, with this including any striking or punishment of a child. The Apostle Paul here was lifting up the Law for punitive parents in the Colossian church that were of Greek descent. Punishing a child then carried severe penalties, and was seen as deserving of death, even in the Early Church, where Christ spared the offenders of the worst. The rod verses in Proverbs and Hebrews do not refer to spanking, but to a form of judicial corporal punishment known as the 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction, and thus the verses in Proverbs are repealed verses. The verses in Hebrews are figurative and symbolic for enduring hardship as a Christian, meaning God does not literally come down with a scourge and whip His children, but He does whip them into shape, like no other Father can.

Respect can be more than just obedience. Respect for parents in the Bible requires honesty and openness towards parents, meaning children tell parents everything, good or bad. Respect for parents, as per the word υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo), refers to a form of rest, namely a form of safety and security in parents that brings about trust, and then the child opens up to parents, telling all about everything, laying the groundwork for a close relationship and friendship with one's child. 

A child should feel safe saying anything and everything under the sun to their parents, and parents should not punish children. Punishing children simply shuts down communication, and then children hide things from parents, and then that leads to more punishment once these hidden items become known. It is a never ending cycle. Punishment comes from a will to control a child, meaning entitlement, or imposed want for the child to "behave" and "be civil". 

True openness and honesty comes from tolerance of childhood behaviors that may be childish or challenging, as most behaviors in children are developmentally appropriate phases, and if left go, usually dissipate as soon as they form. Punishment stunts the growth of children emotionally. Children should occasionally be warned if their wants or behavior head towards unattainable or unsafe territory, but if the child doesn't get that playing in the street is dangerous, they won't until later, so just keep them safe, and all that picking them up as they elope will eventually sink in as a childish mistake they made when they get older. A child who is not interfered with in this manner will confide and confess into parents about everything. Just know that if your child admits to doing anything wrong, act as their confessor, not their cop, and say "you are forgiven" right away. Most childish and problematic behaviors in children are developmentally appropriate behaviors, and shouldn't be interfered with using punishment or force.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!