Strictness in parenting: Why to be strict with yourself as a parent (and not children)

Many parents want children with strict habits. This is a common American preference for child behavior. I myself am a conservative Christian, so I have no problem with strictness, as long as it is imparted correctly. Strictness in children is reliant on a strict, sturdy example in a parent, but one that is loving and caring at the same time.

The Bible reads in Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, for this is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to a specific standard of Christian discipline and chastisement in parents, stemming from that attitude here of being entitled to nothing in relation to children, but grateful for your children nonetheless. Children owe nothing to parents, and parents owe everything to children, expecting absolutely nothing in return, chastening children up with a good Christian example, with this example backed up by verbal or symbolic warnings that certain wants are unattainable and/unsafe, in a way that is rare and at a time when it is absolutely necessary, denoted by the Greek root word νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to warnings that are non-punitive and agreed-upon in a parent-child relationship. This is all weighed by the Greek root word παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to provocations to anger, meaning any and all offenses against children, as defined as the slightest of offenses perceived by the child. The commandment not to provoke children to anger was intended by the Apostle Paul to prohibit all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishment and control in parents, including spanking and corporal punishment. The Apostle Paul was rebuking and admonishing Greek Christian parents who kept the pagan custom of spanking and whipping children, which was seen as parental entitlement and idolatry then.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure trust in parents. Replace "obey" with "trust" and you come to a roughly better translation. This is a special kind of trust borne out of maternal warmth and sustenance, with attachment parenting being the norm in ancient Israel and adjoining churches. Children were swaddled next to mothers, wrapped up in swaddling bands, with younger children being weaned off of breastmilk at age 3, and alternated between play and closeness with parents in late childhood. It is a warm, trusting bond with parents that lead to respect for parents, then following their example. Warmth and sustenance in early childhood especially earns parents respect, and then children want to follow your example.

Children are to follow, in Christian homes, the Living Example of Christ, meaning imparting the example of Christ's Sacrifice for His children, in attitudinal format. Christ was very strict with Himself, as He belonged to a Jewish monastery, and so should parents be as an example in relation to children, being entitled to nothing in relation to children, being grateful for the every joy a child brings you, with all parents owing everything to their children, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children. Parents are to be disciplined in relation to children, showing it and imparting their disciplined format. Put your children first, and yourself last. 

The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!