Many parents think their child is their property, meaning a subject to order around. Most parents in America state "I am your parent, not your friend". This is wrong. According to biblical law, your child is your friend, and you are to treat that child with respect.
The Holy Bible reads in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure trust in parents. Replace "obey" and "trust" and you come to a roughly more accurate translation. However, this form of trust is borne out of maternal warmth and sustenance. This is an open, honest type of trust, where children surrender all information and tell anything and everything to parents, expecting absolutely no punishment or retribution in return. Children were held close to Hebrew and Christian parents, swaddled next to mothers, wrapped up until adulthood in swaddling bands next to mom. Children were weaned as old as age 3, with older children alternating closeness with free play. Children were best friends with their parents, and vice versa. Parents in biblical times saw children in the moment, not for later.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to provocations to anger, meaning any and all offenses against children, as defined as the slightest of offense perceived by a child. The commandment prohibiting provocations to anger against one's child was intended by the Apostle Paul to prohibit punitive parenting, including punishment and control such as spanking and corporal punishment. The commandment in vs. 21 was to uplift the Law. Roman law had a legal defense for striking a child "within reason", whereas Jewish law did not, and in the Old Testament, put punitive parents to death by bloodletting, after enduring 40 lashes with the rod of correction - the same one mentioned in Prov. 13:24. The 5 rod verses in Proverbs mentioning the parenting of ADULT children are repealed, alongside Prov. 20:30 and Prov. 26:7. The rod verses refer to a dated legal punishment, involving 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction, in which case grandparents often wielded the rod of correction against errant children who abused their grandchildren.
Parents are to be best friends to their children. True biblical parents make good friends. You can tell them anything, and they don't punish you. They take you seriously, and listen to you as you talk about your favorite subject, and they don't judge. Parents aren't to be judge, jury, and executioner over their children. Parents are to be friends with their children. The only difference is that children are extensions of God, and are in place of Him (Matt. 25:31-46). Children petition for needs and a redress of grievances from parents, directing how they receive their needs, striking reverent terror and fear into them. It is an attendant friendship towards a vulnerable friend who needs a more sturdy, mature friend to look after them, and care for them. It is a caregiver/ward type of friendship, where a friend assumes the care of an incapacitated, disabled friend. The friendship equalizes as the child approaches adolescence. Parenting should be for the moment, not for later.
The Greek root word translated "parents" refers to parenting, with the word being γονεύς (Latin: goneus) and refers to a friend to a child, in the position of caregiver. It is an attendant type of friendship that is totally accepting of a child, coming from total submission to the child. Think the connotations you add to a nurse's station. That's how attendant and caring parents in ancient Hebrew and Christian cultures were then. Parents are to be caregivers, not lawmakers or lawgivers, and it should translate to children simply being a parent's best friend, and vice versa - children should have a friend in parents to confide into, just as adult believers have Christ to confide into.
The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan, which is Satan's final resting place! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
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