Many parents in America think that it is okay to punish a child. The main goal in American parenting in present times is to instill obedience in children, meaning causing anxiolytic fear of parents and God, defeating the purpose of parenting as God sees it. God wants you to be close to your child, and vice versa.
It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children, lest they be discouraged.
The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to trust in parents. Replace "obey" with "trust" and you come to a roughly better translation, with this commandment being written aside of dependent children for parents to keep. This was a special trust, meaning one borne out of maternal warmth and sustenance. Children went in the nude in ancient Israel and adjoining churches, being swaddled next to the mother with swaddling bands, with children being in constant closeness to mothers. Closeness was the goal in parenting during biblical times, meaning parents had one short term goal - to be as close to their child as possible, for as long as possible, until the children shook off the closeness of parents, and sought to be independent. Attachment parenting was the norm among the ancient Jews and Early Christians, with children being intensely close to parents, sleeping next to mothers, and being carried on her back when she was out doing errands such as shopping at market in the city.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to provocations to anger, meaning all offenses against children, as defined as the slightest of offense perceived by a child. This includes, by the intent of the inspired pen of the Apostle Paul, any punitive parenting, meaning any punishment or control of children, including spanking and corporal punishment. The Apostle Paul was cracking down on Greek Christians that were bringing the Hellenistic tradition of spanking children into the Colossian church. Punishment of children was legally defensible under Roman law, but not Jewish law. Corporal punishment only existed in the Old Testament, and only as a summary punishment for a capital offense, and only for ADULT children - minor children could not stand trial for criminal acts or civil wrongs that they committed under Jewish law, as the Law was only binding on adults, with children only being expected to learn the law. When a child committed acts of mischief against a neighbor, the parent had to apologize in court to the neighbor in question. Defensiveness over the child in court was a sign of permissiveness, whereas most parents would simply instruct their children.
Parents in biblical times were intensely close to their children. Children were wrapped up in swaddling bands next to their mother when going places, with children as old as age 3 being nourished by their mother in breastfeeding. The Greek root word translated "parents" in the New Testament is γονεύς (Latin: goneus) and refers not to authority but to leadership in the family home, meaning sometimes parents lead children to their needs, and sometimes children lead parents to what the child needs. Most of the time, children dictated what they needed to parents by way of demands and petitions for needs and a redress of grievances. Limits were set with agreed-upon measures between parent and child, with children agreeing in the moment to instructions and warnings from parents, without any sort of punishment or control to force children to listen. Biblical surrender to parents is trust in parents to the point of listening to them, because you trust them and not because you fear them. Any form of punishment violates trust and confidence between child and parent. Children should trust in parents enough to be close to them, telling them anything and everything under the sun.
The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss that is Hell and torment, suffering God's Wrath for all eternity! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
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