Many parents feel entitled to respect these days. Most parents demand respect from children, and give no respect to earn from their children. Knowing and learning respect is a life skill for any child to grasp, but it is learned by being respected, not having respect demanded of them.
It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.
The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to rest and trust in parents, just as adult believers rest and trust in the love and grace of Lord Jesus Christ. This word roughly translates to "trust". This commandment is written aside to parents, so that parents earn the trust of children. This is a different type of trust than would readily be understood in the text today. This trust is maternal and sustaining in nature, with children going in the nude, and then being held close and snuggled with in the nude by mothers, with children co-sleeping with parents every night into adulthood. Children up until age 3 were treated as infants, and breastfed as such, with breastfeeding being allowed everywhere in ancient Israel and adjoining churches. Parenting in that culture was attachment-based in nature, with parents being a child's best friend all the way through adulthood. Surrender to parents then meant running to the loving arms of parents. Children showed their true selves to parents, meaning they could tell parents anything, and not expect any punishment or reprisal from parents. Much of this context applies today.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to provocations to anger imposed onto children by adults, meaning offenses against children. Offenses against children are defined under the Law as the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child. This was intended by the inspired pen of the Apostle Paul to include any form of physical or other forms of punishment, as Paul was cracking down on the Hellenistic tradition of spanking children, which was backed up by the legal defense of patrias potestas under Roman law. Paul would have none of it in the churches he oversaw as a deacon, and the Law that Jesus fulfilled and taught did not have a legal defense for "reasonable force" in disciplining children, but did have a defense of infancy. Paul simply lifted up the Law and delivered a command prohibiting the punishment or control of parenting.
Respect is earned in life. Parents are to be respectful to their children, showing gratitude for their children, with parents entitled to nothing from their children, but are to be grateful for everything, expecting absolutely nothing in return for any acts of love or service directed towards the child.
The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them burn and be tormented in a Hell of fire forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
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