Why not to have expectations for children

Many parents expect things from children. It is seen as commonsense in this country that children be expected to behave in a certain way especially. Most parents want things of their children. Expectations are imposed wants on children, meaning "you better meet standards or else".

"Expectations" can mean many things. It is defined here by the Greek root word denoting entitlement in the New Testament, which is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers and refers to parental entitlement, or wanting things of children to the point of seeking to impose said want onto a child. A parent is not entitled to anything from a child, and is to be grateful for their child and all of the joy that their child brings them, expecting absolutely nothing in return, instead asking politely. Expectations are entitled parenting because they impose a want for a child onto them. Instead, have preferences for children, meaning preferred behaviors and non-preferred behaviors, and model the preferred behaviors in your own actions, as per the Greek root word παιδεία (Latin: paideia). See Eph. 6:4.

It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV: 

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure trust and rest in parents, just as adult believers trust and rest in Lord Jesus Christ. Replace "obey" with "trust" and you come to a more accurate translation. This means a non-controlling relationship with your child, based not on imposing expectations, but being your child's best friend and closest confidant, with children telling parents anything and everything under the sun, expecting no punishment and reprisal in return. Parents in biblical times did not demand anything or expect anything of their children, but instead catered and righteously gave into demands and petitions for needs and a redress of grievances from children. Parents then asked things of children politely, using salutations such as "please" and "thank you". The Greek root word for setting limits is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to agreed upon requests of children, not imposing expectations on children (Eph. 6:4). Parents in biblical times had hopes for their children, but allowed their children to go their own way in terms of views and opinions, intervening rarely in the form of requests and lectures, both non-binding in terms of salvation.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to "stirring up" children, as in "stirring the pot" in terms of their emotional welfare through provocations to anger. A provocation to anger in the Bible here refers to offenses against children, defined as the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including any punishment of children, physical or otherwise by the intent of the pen of the Apostle Paul. The Apostle Paul here was rebuking Greek Christian parents who punished their children, whereas punishing one's child was against the laws of the Early Church and its Jewish predecessors, and was seen as the capital offense of kidnapping in fact. Having high expectations was seen as a provocation to anger of children. Ordinary Greek families had high academic expectations for their children, whereas Christians were the rural farmers who homeschooled children - even then! Christians then unschooled their children, or taught in a fun way using the natural curiosity of children as a way to "lure" the child to knowledge using fun and engaging activities.

Children in ancient Judeo-Christian culture did not have expectations. Think the Christmas carol "Silent Night". That is how all ancient Jews and Christians saw their children, as all children were seen as vulnerable yet convicting extensions of God. Hence, the expectations were in the reverse - children held expectations against their parents. Parents were merely servants and attendants, being beholden to their children like waitstaff to a patron at a restaurant. Think what you see these days in Nativity scenes - that's more how parents raised their children...straight up until adulthood. Children weren't expected not to cry, but were instead asked "what's wrong, dear?". Children rarely left their parent's side, with their mother bringing sustenance and nourishment to children, with children up to age 3 being breastfed. Attachment parenting was the norm in ancient Israelite culture and adjoining churches, and in attachment parenting, you don't expect things of your children, but merely hope.

The depraved and entitled parents who push high expectations on children will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into eternal fire and torment, with God not sparing for their souls after their last warning! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!