Socratic reasoning: Why questions are better than orders coming from parents

Many parents are clumsy and lazy in how they correct their child's behaviors in public and private, with such behaviors including perhaps screaming and crying. Socratic reasoning is what parents should do with children.

It says in Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, as this is right. Honor thy father and mother, for this is the first commandment with promise; That is may be well with thee, and thou mayest live upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to anger: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to a form of discipline, expressed by a certain form of communication with a child. Socratic reasoning is a sign of a disciplined, chastened nature in parents. Instead of asserting what you want, you ask questions to care about what the other person needs. Instead of demanding that children "stop crying" you ask "what is upsetting you?" Ask questions when your child is acting up, in a patient, gentle way, and then you can expect a vulnerable answer, in which case you work WITH your child, meaning NOT against your child. 

Don't say: "Stop crying"

Say instead: "Why are you upset?" (in a hospitable tone of voice)

Then, from there, you should know why your child is carrying on in the store or the restaurant. They might just say "I need YOU, mommy/daddy" in which case you should maybe plan a walk or scenic drive to talk about what they want to talk.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to warm trust in parents, just as adult believers trust warmly in Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. Replace "obey" with "trust" and you get a more accurate translation. Parents should be a child's best friend, with children being able to share anything and everything under the sun with parents. Children demanded their needs and a redress of grievances in relation to parents in biblical times, with parents being convicted in reverent terror and fear, surrendering to the needs of their children, breastfeeding them up until age 3, with children co-sleeping with their mothers in skin-to-skin fashion until adulthood. Respect for parents was a specific closeness based on maternal warmth and sustenance, meaning a secure parent-child bond. Ancient Judeo-Christian culture was attachment parenting culture. Children were seen as naturally rebellious in terms of wanting things, but the rebellion was to be appeased, not punished, meaning reverent rebellion. Parents did not punish rebellious behavior, but saw it as communication, as the flawed nature of children is one that amounts to a communication block. Children know what they need, but they can't communicate it like we adults can, especially in emotionally heated moments. A parent assuming things is the last thing they need. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to "bitter anger" and refers to a provocation to anger inflicted upon a child by an adult, meaning offenses against children, with said offenses being defined by the slightest of offense perceived by the child. This was intended by the inspired pen of the Apostle Paul as prohibiting all forms of punishment against children, including spanking and other forms of corporal punishment. Paul was cracking down on Greek Christian parents for their tradition of spanking children, which was excused by Greco-Roman law and custom. Paul would have none of that in the churches he oversaw as a deacon, so he lifted up the Law, which during the time of Moses, punished punitive parents with the death sentence of chenek, or hanging pro-spanking parents bloody, for kidnapping due to the hostage-taking nature of punishing children, with all witnesses testifying on behalf of the perpetrator being condemned to the same fate, being just as bad as the parent who spanked and punished them. Corporal punishment in the Bible was simply a summary punishment connected to the death penalty, which was seen as symbolic for a second chance in the rod verses - sometimes you must go through hell to get to heaven. That's all those verses mean.

Socratic reasoning is reasoning using open-ended questions. Parents should not presume to think their child is simply being "bad". Children do rebel, meaning make demands, but the idea is to ask the reason for the behavior, politely and gently, and with respect. I wouldn't say to any child "shut up" but instead I might say "why are you talking like that to me?" with a bit of distemper. The child would likely break down crying about some struggle I had no clue about, because I don't have a clue - adults don't have a clue about what it is like to be a child, and that status of things is permanent. The idea is not to set your assertions forward as a parent, but to take a cautious, reverent step back from your child's emotions, asking them what is wrong instead of assuming what is wrong.

The depraved and entitled parents who assume entitlement in children without evidence will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices, meaning the devil's tomb! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!