"Honor parents": The meaning of the Fifth Commandment in context

Most parents want to be honored in some way, usually with glorified titles and honorifics. Many parents punish children who refuse to honor parents. The fact of the matter is that honoring parents is a valid concept, but that respect is earned.

It says in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.

The underlined statement refers to the Canaanite tradition of killing and sacrificing children. Under the Law of Moses, however, parents had to go to court to get their children executed, and only for clear and documented elder abuse, and even then, every parent that tried to have their child put down had to recant due to society then minimizing elder abuse, hence why the parent protection laws were handed down by God. The belief was that "if your kid was beating you up, they must have learned it somewhere". Only adult children could be put to death, as children were seen by the Law as incompetent in standing trial. The verses in Proverbs and Hebrews that discuss corporal punishment, but this was only for adult children who committed a capital offense, and was a symbol of enduring hardship for a second chance, with the verses in Proverbs symbolically meaning sometimes, in life, you have to endure hardship for a second chance, using a legal punishment that was rarely carried out at all to illustrate a life lesson poetically. Corporal punishment was a last warning under the Law for any offender, meaning that if an offender reoffended just one more time, they would surely be put to death, immediately, outside of their home. Children were never even charged with anything.

The Fifth Commandment is repeated in the New Testament many times. It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: as is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, warm rest in the love and grace of parents, just like adult believers rest in the love and grace of Lord Jesus Christ. Respect for parents is intense closeness to the level of sustenance, leading to fondness and admiration, and then honor. It is being your child's friend and close confidant, meaning children can tell you anything and be themselves in relation to parents, without fear of punishment and reprisal. Surrender to parents is running to parents, with parent siphoning the energy and rambunctiousness of children towards them, being safe people for children. Children demanded and petitioned for their needs and a redress of grievances, then parents supplied said demands of children, then children rested once their every need and benign want was quenched by parents. In the biblical context, children were nude up until adulthood mainly for purposes of skin-to-skin closeness with children, and also to bring out sexual threats towards children by adult men specifically, for all to see and judge. Children up to age 3 were seen as infants, and breastfed as such. Children played freely, but within the line of sight of mothers especially. Children, as they got older, listened to parents more, "tagging along" with their parents, listening independent of punishment, simply because of intense, warm trust in parents.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers literally to "stirring up" upset and resentment in children, as in the Jewish adage of "stirring the pot" in terms of your child's emotional welfare. Ultimately, this refers to offenses against children, or the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child. This ultimately prohibits any form of physical or other punishments, threats, or menaces, regardless, towards a child. This command was delivered by the Apostle Paul to the Colossian church to rebuke Greek Christian parents for the tradition of spanking children that they brought into the church, with Roman law allowing for fathers to physically punish their children and wives, whereas physical punishment of children was not protected by any defense under Jewish law, with spousal domestic discipline only being allowed by contract. Corporal punishment of children is an idolatrous tradition from ancient Greece and Rome, where children were spanked and punished, and were seen as property of the father under the Roman legal doctrine of patrias potestas or "power of the father" which is now translated, after feminism, as "power to the parent" and including mothers as holders of rights over children. "Power to the parent", however, is just as idolatrous as "power to the father", due to its Roman lineage.

Rome reversed the roles between parent and child. Children are not to fear parents, but vice versa. The Greek root word denoting reverent fear is ψοβός (Latin: phobos) and refers to reverent fear and terror, with reverent fear being the base component of love. Fear, then conviction, then submission, with love being the help perceived by the child, with Christian love in full being denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao). If no help is perceived, it isn't love, so then try something else, or else give children space. Children were revered and feared in the biblical context, meaning parents and adults feared provoking them to anger, in a reverent way that spurred them into action. 

Honoring parents does exist in the Bible, but honor is earned through winning over the hearts of children, and honoring their needs and benign wants. A child has five basic categories of needs - food, water, shelter, transportation, and attachment - with attachment being the strongest of needs in a child. Parents are not authority figures, but are attendant servants to their child's every need. They become honorable once they have earned it, by treating children with respect, meaning respect to their sustenance and attachment needs. If your parents never respected you, you don't have to respect them. If they are treating you with disrespect, you can put your foot down and lay down the law. Rome had it so that parents were to be honored no matter what, but the Law that Jesus Christ advanced had it that children be honored no matter what, as "they are the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven" (Matt. 19:14). Surrender to parents simply means running to parents in a time of need, with children always remaining close to parents, and respecting their instructions from that warm, vulnerable trust.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices, mostly the scum whom who control and punish children! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!