Why childhood is a communication deficit (pro-social punching bag, pro-social projectile board)

Many people think that children misbehave "just to get under our skin" and that children are willful pests for adult. What is the number one cause of childhood misbehavior? Communication issues. Children don't communicate on the level of adults, and that is due to cognitive immaturity.

The doctrine of mutual surrender means open communication with a child. It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to closeness with parents, leading to respect, with children being able to say anything and everything to parents under the sun, with parents expecting absolutely nothing in return for their surrender and listening to the child's needs. Parents were projectile boards for the upsets and crying of children, perhaps the 2-year-old screaming and hitting parents. Why do they do this? Biblical parents knew then that children had a limited vocabulary, and a limited amount of self-control, so they took the brunt of their child's cries and aggression, and channeled it towards them, listening to it and validating needs, determining what the child needs based on the context. Children were breastfed until age 3 and treated as infants behaviorally until that age, and perhaps much older, sleeping in the nude with mothers until adulthood. Children demanded what they needed from parents in that historical context, and didn't always use their words. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and literally translates to "stirring up" upset and resentment in children, referencing the Jewish idiom of "stirring the pot". Parents didn't dare provoke their child to anger, meaning provoke any offense in the child, with offense meaning the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child. Paul was writing in vs. 21 to Hellenistic Christians who relied heavily on the Greco-Roman custom of spanking and corporal punishment. Paul would have none of it in the churches he oversaw. He lifted up the Jewish law on the offenses to them, and charged the parents with it, banning all corporal punishment and other punitive  parenting throughout Christendom.

Children who act out and are attention seeking usually have a communication barrier in place keeping them from expressing what they need. Hebraic parents in the Bible knew children knew what they needed, but also knew their children didn't have enough words to express their needs or petition of redress of grievances. Parents would be projectile boards for the child's upset, and punching bags for frustrated aggression, being pummeled until they figured out what the child need, then meeting that need, usually an attachment need at some level, with a shamefaced smile, convicted of their evil nature for merely existing as their parents, with the child being a vulnerable yet convicting extension of God. 

Children communicate through behavior, and through play. Children in ancient Judeo-Christian culture played freely and without interruption, but within range of parents. The child might communicate a need by crying out of nowhere while playing, and the mother would simply validate the child's upset in a reassuring way, by listening to the child's upset. Many times, younger children cry for no reason for the same reason a baby would cry for no reason - they just need to be soothed, because the world is too threatening. Haven't we all been there as adults? They can't control their feelings like we can, due to their immature emotional development. Parents in biblical times instinctively knew this, but we as a society have lost that ability to decode the needs of children. Decoding the needs of children is easy - whenever they cry, reassure them, and also, give them what they want and forbid them not when it is harmless, just as Christ did in the temple (Matt. 19:14).

The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend forever and ever into to a Hell of fire and torment, with God hating their adult existence from the beginning, foreknowing their evil deeds! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!