Respect: The close nature of biblical respect for parents

Many parents demand respect for their glorified title, but not know what that means. Most parents in the United States think respect means reverence for parents. The fact of the matter is that respect means closeness in the contextual biblical understanding of parenting.

It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to closeness leading to listening, meaning secure attachment to parents. Closeness was the immediate goal, not compliance, with parents in biblical times. This meant empowered surrender to parents, meaning reverent rebellion. Parents were safe people for their children's neediness and rambunctiousness, to the point of servitude, with policing attachment being the most common form of secure attachment in the Bible. Biblical children were empowered yet submissive in relation to parents, with parents planning adult decisions around their children, such as relocation of one's family based on a child's whimsical fear or something of the sort asserted by a child. Children were seen as a vulnerable yet convicting extension of God, whose small, feeble persons struck reverent terror in decent biblical adults never to harm a child or provoke them to anger.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to "stirring up" anger and resentment in children, referencing the Jewish adage of "stirring the pot" in relation to the emotional welfare of one's children. This referred to a direct command from God through the Apostle Paul that prohibited all forms of punishment and control in parenting, including spanking and corporal punishment, but also the slightest of personal offense from a child against the entitlement of a parent or other adult. A provocation to anger was a moral count under the Law for any human being, but was uplifted specifically for the protection of children because parents of Hellenistic origin were using corporal punishment to control their children, and the Apostle Paul would have none of it. Traditional Christian parenting then was based on Christ's Living Example, meaning a Christ-like attitude modeled to children by parents. Parents modeled the charity and generosity of Christ by imparting said charity onto children, and being selfless as a parent, resigning yourself to your child's neediness and demands, supplying the every need of a child without complaint. This was all part of the attachment parenting manuals that the Apostle Paul handed out, meaning parents were supposed to accommodate the demands of the child, not punish demanding behavior. Anyone who punished a child was excommunicated from the church, and collectively shunned, unless they turned themselves in for that sin and turned away from provoking their child to anger.

Respect, in the biblical sense, is closeness, meaning a closeness that empowers freedom in a child to be themselves and say whatever they want to parents, being able to demand their needs obstinately, and not be punished for their assertiveness. The Greeks and Romans complained about Christian parents being overly "soft" and "mollycoddling" with children, and that was one of main gripes greater Greco-Roman society had about Christians, as the Greco-Roman culture was very authoritarian, and Greek and Roman parents punished and controlled children. Christian mothers especially were known to be charitable and generous towards children, and fathers too in a protective way.

The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death, which is Satan's final resting place! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!