Many parents think that formality means respecting parents and not questioning them. On the other hand, we have many advocates here at gentle parenting who don't like formalities. I beg to differ that all formalities should go. Some should be reversed, as Rome reversed it beforehand. Formality does exist in my brand of gentle parenting, but is self-imposed.
The Greek root word to avoid in parenting is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers in the negative to want avoidance, meaning it is wrong, by default, to want anything from children. Children are a special class, meaning they are segregated in a pro-social manner by adults, as adults have wronged children with their existence throughout history, and are deserving of DEATH and DESTRUCTION for their mere existence in relation to children. Parents are to be convicted of their original sin, which is adult entitlement.
Children are to "break the ice" as to initiate casual conversation, with the adult bargaining with the child as to where the limits are in the adult-child friendship. The idea is to be completely distrustful of your nature in relation to children, and let children cheer you up, if you earn that welcome from children. Trust is not a right, meaning it must be earned from children, not demanded for free on a silver platter.
This is how my variant of gentle parenting works. It is based on the concept of avoidance of adult entitlement, meaning adults are naturally entitled to things they want of children. Aren't we all wicked, entitled adults deserving of punishment merely for existing in relation to children? But belief in Christ solves it all, modeling oneself after Christ, with children as an extension of God. It says in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 KJV:
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the Kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the Kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.
We all hate children as adults. Some of us simply admit it as a fault. Let children be the judge (1 Cor. 5:11; Col. 3:21).
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