What to do about temper tantrums

 All parents have been in a place where their child just flew off the handle and threw a tantrum. There are various reasons why children throw tantrums, but the main reason is a denial of request from a child, meaning what they wanted was a no-no. I, as a recovering permissive parent, do have to strongly believe in the word "no" as an occasional shocker, but not all the time.

It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things, as is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to providing custody, under the Law, meaning rest in the providence and grace of parents, with parents doting on the every need of a child, namely food, water, shelter, transportation, and attachment - but especially the last one. Children tantrum when one of those needs are not met, or more. The last one is one of the biggest reasons children throw tantrums, meaning cold and unfeeling parents. Children should feel free, within the presence of parents, to be as flamboyant as possible about their emotions, as they feel, to get what they need/want. Yes, benign wants are needs too. Benign deprivation is a form of abuse, meaning saying "no" all the time, just to assert some authority you appointed yourself to as a parent. Children are, ideally, to get their every wish granted, in some way, and some form, and there usually is a way to mediate the situation when what they want isn't there. Children then listen and heed the voice of parents, meaning voice imprinting and not fear of punishment. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to the offenses in the legal context of the Bible, meaning the torts and damages under the Eighth Commandment, especially the assault and battery laws under the Law that were extended to children as protection, summed up and referenced after Christ as the slightest of offense perceived by a child.

What should be done, ultimately? Validation and reassurance, in the form of listening. When saying "no", you impose a personal slight, meaning an offense, onto a child, and without clarifying your loving, caring intent to your child, dismissing their feelings is abuse, as is punishment for having big feelings. In order to clarify your pro-social intent, you must reassure the child and console the child, validating their very real upset, by saying, in a reassuring voice "I'm here to listen" or some variant, perhaps getting a tissue and wiping the child's tears away, perhaps snuggling with them and maybe holding them (the latter if the child is still little, meaning perhaps a toddler). Then, afterwards, explain why you said "no". Explain like you would a friend who you had to decline lending $500 so that they could get their car fixed. Sometimes, you have to say "no" to people in life, and your child is no exception, especially as they get older.

Some tantrums are not within the norm. If it replicates a domestic assault, leaves bruises on you, or else involves a seizure-like aggressive trance, meaning your child is literally violent, that may not be able to be solved by gentle parenting. Medication is a necessity for some children, including me as a child and myself now. Rage attacks are a form of temper tantrum that emphasizes the "temper" part, and the child usually ends up striking the parent, usually the mother, on the top of the back. 

The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is hand!