Verbal defiance in the Bible: Why "back talk" to parents is not banned in the Bible

Many parents, if not most, don't like "back talk", meaning children having a say of their own, and telling parents off about an unmet need masked as a benign want. Many gentle parents may brag about gently setting limits to kindly ask for respect from children. I myself, when around children, take the heat and face the music, knowing my fearful and reverent place in relation to children - and I don't hate them one bit for bossing me around. I like it.

The concept of back talk doesn't exist under biblical law. It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things, as is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to providing custody under the Law, meaning that children rested in the loving grace and providence of parents, being able to be themselves, tell their parents everything, say anything when parents were around, with children owing nothing in return to parents, yet showing gratitude by listening anyway. This state of a child comes from Christian love, denoted by the Greek root word translated αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to being convicted of one's depraved and entitled sin nature in relation to children, leading to surrendering oneself to the Lord through one's child, giving up all adult power and control over them, sacrificing and taking up the cross for children just as Christ did for His children, rendering oneself beneath one's child, devaluing yourself as a mere caregiver and servant, leading to good works just for the sake of good works, with the child being extended by God for such good works, expecting absolutely nothing in return, grateful for every good deed done for a child. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and literally translates to "stir up" as in "stirring the pot" in relation to the anger of the child in response to punishment, referring to the offenses in the legal context of the Bible, namely the torts and damages system, meaning here the assault and battery laws under the Law, which include the slightest of offense perceived by the child. This means spanking is banned, as that was how the Law was interpreted in both the Old and New Testament, with all corporal punishment being judicial in nature, and a rare event that went down in Israelite national history.

Children were allowed to talk back to parents in ancient Israel and adjoining churches, by custom, meaning children could bellow with even aggressive anger in order to demand for a need, and sometimes, this just meant the child had a disorder that could not be treated by medication that wasn't invented yet. Infancy lasted until age 3 in that culture, with mothers fashioning themselves as punching bags for their children, at that age and even older. Children were deified in a pro-social manner by their fathers, meaning fathers had reverent respect for the boundaries set by the child, in a shake and quake type of way, leading to them being passive in terms of being led on family activities by their wife and children. Fathers then were very warm, as were the homes they led. Children were absolutely allowed to express themselves, and parents most of the time found a compromise when a child couldn't get whatever they wanted, or else found a reason to give children everything but things that are either inappropriate or unattainable.

Simply talking back to parents was a non-issue, even under the law. Striking a parent was only an issue when you were an adult, and even then, most parents were inclined to defend their child in court, not take them to court. Striking a child was illegal in the sense that in Hebrew circles, it was a sudden, shocking reaction by a parent, leading to an even more sudden shock by everyone else, meaning the punitive parent became a social pariah until they learned to kick the habit. If their child was demanding in public, perhaps they were blamed for being derelict in their duties as a parent. Children, by rights, had the right to reverent rebellion that kept parents in check, meaning harmony in the family imposed by the child being assertive to parents, and not being required to mince words in doing so, especially within a home setting, where children would run around, maybe knock things over, and the children were presumed at a young age to be too immature to be burdened with cleaning it up.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!