Oppositional and defiant behavior - Why this mirrors a parent's attitudes towards their child

Many parents have issues with oppositional and defiant behavior in their children to varying degrees. The child is often blamed for the behavior, meaning usually through punishment and control techniques in order to impose force on the child in order to "behave".

Defiance in children is most always linked to the entitled attitudes towards children. It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things, as is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to providing custody, meaning children resting in the love and grace of parents, being able to demand needs, with parents supplying for those demands, and children being able to be themselves and tell parents anything, not fearing any punishment or reprisal, owing absolutely nothing in return to parents, yet nonetheless with children emulating the example of parents and listening to their reassuring, familiar voice. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to the offenses in the legal context of the Bible, meaning the torts and damages under the Eighth Commandment, such as, in this case, assault and battery under the Law that constitutes theft and kidnapping, and applies to protecting children as well as adults. Basically, the slightest of offense perceived by the child, coming from the entitled attitudes and behavior of adults, is child abuse, and is sin. Entitlement in the New Testament, repeating the Tenth Commandment, is denoted by the Greek root word translated πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to wanting things from children, or wanting them to do things for you, to the point of seeking to impose said want onto a child, leading to abuse by way of offense perceived.

The Apostle Paul gave the command in vs. 21 for a reason. Corporal punishment was a form of dealing with oppositional and defiant behavior in Hellenistic and Roman circles, whereas Hebraic circles favored attachment parenting. Paul was commanded by God to set the law down. There would be no debate - Christians could fall into many camps on certain issues, but there was to be no violence committed at the hands of any Christian, including within the home. His whole message with the commandment was that if you are harsh and unforgiving with your child, your child will show the same attitude towards you, in various forms. 

Parenting in ancient Israel was very much attached in nature, with the surrender to parents being closeness in a pro-social mirror(ing) type of way, meaning the warmth in a child's embrace of their mother, and fondness in being swaddled to the mother's bosom or carried on her back. Children who are securely attached to parents usually listen and obey in a "go along with the flow" and "follow mom's lead", alternated with "lead mom to something we want/need" and usually getting it. "Mom" can be replaced with "dad" as well, for some of these, but not all, meaning it is the mothers that hold children close., and the fathers that encourage them from a distance, both on the child's level. Parents were immature then, meaning they delved down to that level and were best friends with their children from day one, meaning unconditional love, meaning being struck with fear by a child's petition of needs, leading to conviction to surrender to God through one's child, sacrificing for them just as Christ did, taking up the cross for one's children, rendering oneself beneath the child, devaluing oneself as caregiver and servant of the child, leading to good works and acts of service towards children, including by omission, perhaps the locational type.

Parents who treated children with warmth and fondness got the same response back from their children most times, and on a level equal to theirs. Any parent who was overly harsh ended up with children who had nasty, defiant attitudes, and thus the apple didn't fall far from the tree. 

The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn and rot in the ever-burning lake of fire and brimstone, forever descending into the abyss which is eternal Hell-fire, which is Satan's final resting place! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!