Childhood bipolar disorder - What you need to know

Many people mix up behaviors of childhood bipolar disorder with that of autism and/or pedophilia in children. Autistic meltdowns are different from bipolar meltdowns, in that autistic meltdowns tend to be teary and due to external factors in the environment beyond the control of the child, so they just go on the floor and melt down. Bipolar rage attacks, as the proper name for the tantrums, are much more eerie in terms of expression, and usually in private, as a form of pro-social domestic violence.

We say "pro-social" here because they are kids, not adults, and shouldn't directly be lumped in with the type that batters wives, except for the fact that they might actually be headed in that direction. It is a self-harm reaction directed towards another person. I myself have bipolar disorder, and had it early as a child. It is like being stonewalled by adults. I hate EVER demanding a child even "ask appropriately" for anything, because sometimes they can't - or at least can't after they blow out due to excessive demands...That's what children with this disorder need - less structure, not more. 

The Parable of the Prodigal Son states in Luke 15:11-31: 

A certain man had two sons: And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the goods that falleth to me: And then divided unto them. And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, he went into a far country, and wasted his substance with riotous living. When he spent it all, a mighty famine rose in that land; and he began to be in want. And when he joined himself to be a citizen of that country, and he sent them into his fields to feed swine. And he would fain fill his belly with the husks. And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father have bread enough to spare, and I perish in hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and say unto him, Father, I have sinned against Heaven, and before thee, And am no longer worthy to be called your son. make me as one of thy hired servants. And he arose, and came to his father, but when his father was a great way off, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no longer worthy to be called thy son. But the father said to his servants, Bring back the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: And bring back the fatted calf, and kill it: and let is eat, drink, and be merry:

This is a parable, or an allegorical story that teaches a lesson. This refers to the common custom of avoiding the Law in regards to a stubborn and rebellious son, and just praying that he returns to the family, and comes home to the safety and security of parents. This ties into what to do concerning the behaviors of a child with bipolar disorder - give them their space, give them their rest. They won't rest, most likely, when allowed to rest, but the less demands you impose on them, the more manageable their behaviors are.

A rage attack is when you are so smothered by adult demands, and at the same time stonewalled by behavioral tactics from adults, that you just lunge at them, beating them usually on the back, and only stopping at a point where you feel mercy for the adult, usually a parent, usually a mother. 

The best way is pro-social punching bag. You begrudgingly accept that your child is aggressive and most always will be, so you take away all extracurricular activities, and seek not to overschedule them. The child should lave very lenient structure, meaning they should make the schedule for themselves, not have everything scheduled for them. It is a learning disability, in that you cannot stay on task for one second, perhaps, and then go pacing around the room. It is a state where you feel powerless when throwing a bipolar rage attack, and just want to bring everything to your control. Shut everything down. The idea is not to control the child, but to model self-control. That exemplary teaching likely won't kick in until the child is medicated.

Mutual submission between parents and children involve no control of a child, and instead trust. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things, as is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to providing custody, which involves children resting in the love and grace of parents, with children righteously demanding things from parents, and parents supplying said demands of children, with children being able to be themselves in relation to parents, being able to tell parents anything and not fear punishment or reprisal, owing absolutely nothing in return to parents, yet nonetheless showing gratitude and thanksgiving for parents by emulating their loving, disciplined example, and listening to the voice of parents out of reassurance and familiarity. This means non-controlling custody of a child, where the child with bipolar disorder cannot be punished, including physically, but can only be restrained to the degree necessary to keep them safe from death and/or serious bodily harm. Other than that, children learn by way of taking up the example of parents, without any punishment or control.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to "stirring up" anger or upset in children, namely "stirring the pot" with their emotions. This refers to the offenses in the Bible, namely the torts and damages under the Eighth Commandment, referring here to assault and battery laws. The main offense linked to all others was offense perceived, meaning the slightest of offense perceived by a child, due to the entitled attitudes and behaviors of adults. A form of offenses, or theft, was the slightest of unwanted touch, which was physical battery at the time. Most of the time, it was mothers perceiving the offense, but children crying during unnecessary physical contact such as striking and moving children around (when not endangered), was counted as an offense based on the child's reaction alone, when both parents had failed the child, and abused the child in some way, Acceptable physical contact is a form of pro-social help, which meant removing a child from an environmental hazard such as a campfire or busy city street, today perhaps a stove or busy street. It can also mean self-defense if the child has you barricaded into a room, and is pounding onto the door. Technically speaking, killing an adolescent child is legal if they are coming at you with a knife. 

However, I recommend the method of pro-social punching bag, which involves laying still, and letting the child pummel you while allowing you. while bringing yourself to vulnerable tears. Know and accept how desperate and helpless you are, and relish in it in tear format, perhaps charring oneself for any offenses that may have set off the child, which usually involves the word "no" - use it rarely with any child, but especially THIS type of child. Allow them to also go around the house, tearing up everything, poking holes in walls, flipping tables and chairs. But, babyproof everything to the level of suicide-proofing, meaning lock up all the knives and guns that could be used as a momentary attempt to commit suicide, and also plugging ALL of the outlets. 

Children with the disorder need LESS structure, not more. They have a lot of energy, so much that they literally cannot channel it into one basket, so to speak. So, let them run around the house, perhaps having little to nothing on (hypersexual behavior is common with these children), and have little structure. Call them to the table to eat, help them focus on homework, but otherwise let everything fall apart. If you are sexually attracted to any sort of wardrobe choice, or lack thereof, that is YOUR problem, not the child's, as they have the right to dress however they wish within a home setting. 

There is little a parent can do until a child is properly medicated, meaning usually a mixture of mood stabilizers and antipsychotics, both of which are approved for children as young as 10, but usually are prescribed later by clinicians to rule out lesser remedies in terms of medication. Just because no medication hasn't worked doesn't mean none will. Lithium carbonate is the gold standard, and I support medication for children as opposed to assuming they are just "bad kids" that "need a good, old fashioned spanking". Most of us here at gentle parenting are not anti-medication. Pro-parent parents are, meaning they refuse to medicate either because "there's nothing wrong with my child except that they are a disrespectful brat" or, less commonly, for religious reasons. It is mandatory, under my Christian faith, to medicate a child where they would benefit from it, perhaps if only due to quality of life standards of medical judgment. I thank my parents and doctors for the medication I get, which helps me explore my own issues better.

Parents usually want control. Usually, in parenting, control is unnecessary, and the existence of bipolar disorder in children further proves that control is not a good fit for any parent, but especially these parents.

The depraved and entitled parents who are controlling with children will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for the evil one and his accomplices! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!