Why parents are not to be angry at children

Many parents feel like they have the right to get angry with children. They feel they have the right to punish  their children. Parents often deny the anger these days with things such as spanking, time-out, or false imprisonment, all forms of kidnapping under biblical law.

Christ, on the Sermon on the Mount, says in Matthew 5:21-22 KJV:

Ye have heard that it was said of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: But I say unto you: That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall he in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, 'Raca', shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.

Anger is something that should be saved for court, meaning a moral legal exchange between two adults, a plaintiff and a defendant, with the defendant clarifying their intent behind a suspected offense. Anger outside of moral legal proceedings was illegal, with children being legally indemnified by age of infancy laws conflated with the age of majority. The Greek root word translated "judgment" is κρισις (Latin: krisis) and literally translates as "the judgment" and is related to the word κρινο (Latin: krino) and refers to judgment in general. These two words are "pull up" words that bring up the Mosaic legal context.

There was an age of majority under Jewish law then, with it being 12 for girls, and 13 for boys, at minimum. They could stay at home later, and stay children until they were married off. The age of majority is 18 in most U.S. states, including here in Pennsylvania, and thus anyone under age 18 cannot be charged with a moral legal offense here in the United States.

Anger directed towards children is to be siphoned away from the child. It says in Matthew 5:38-39 KJV:

Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but that whososever smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.

This refers to something that already exists in the Law, flexible application of moral legal principles, specifically in relation to personal slights. Anyone who is in and out of court, except in multiple abuser cases, reeks of a peacekeeper. Why exchange with your child all the time by yelling at them or punishing them. The idea is to let things go, and not be a snowflake who is easily offended by your child's every behavior and/or move. In fact, since children are indemnified in relation to adults, the anger can go nowhere, and thus is simply a sinful drive of control towards a child to abstain from. This attitude leads to surrender to parents as a reward, and not out of fear of punishment. It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things, as is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discourage.

The Greek root word "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to trust, meaning secure, vulnerable rest in parents in the care and safety of children, being able to share anything with parents, and confide absolutely anything with parents, including anger, frustration, or taboo struggles, owing absolutely nothing in return to parents, nonetheless listening to them, not out of fear, but out of vulnerable trust in parents. This is known as providing custody, meaning custody based on a caregiver/ward relationship, not an officer/detainee relationship. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and translates to "stir up" and is one of the Greek root words referring to the offenses, meaning the torts and damages under the Mosaic Law, which included assault and battery laws that extended, in terms of protection, to children of any age.

Parenting then was attachment-based. Jesus wore swaddling clothes next to his mother, Mary, and that example in the Bible illustrates how parenting actually was then. In terms of modern application, a papoose bag might be the most direct application of the Fifth Commandment with very young children, namely under age 3. Basically, there are degrees of ascent in terms of children's closeness to parents, with the minimum requirement being that parents be best friends with their child. A parent is to be their child's best friend, but more a best friend who is still learning about their new friend, who is smaller and more immature than they are, basically friends in the caregiver sense - how a friend might look after another with a disability, with children having cognitive hinderances to behaving like "little adults". They demand things, and parents supply, but in a casual way, preferably, where parents allow all benign wants as a form of meeting attachment needs. Children should get whatever they want, as long as it is an attainable or harmless request.

Parenting relationships, at the core, in the biblical tense, are about confidant versus listener, as to childhood needs, with parents being a reflective listener, and children being the confidant into parents, with that setting the stage for everything else. Children can scream at parents all they want, throw chairs and desks, and be as angry as they want towards a parent, or even at a parent, and they must listen and validate reflectively, or as a pro-social punching bag in the case of physical aggression.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger with violence or abuse of any kind will not inherit the Kingdom of God! They will be cast into the ever-burning lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death, prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!