Parent abuse: Why parent abuse is legal under biblical law (but abuse of parents isn't)

Is abusing parents a violation of the Ten Commandments and the Bible. Most assume this is the case, but the fact of the matter is that parent abuse is legal under biblical law. Parent abuse isn't really abuse, but a form of reverse gaslighting.

I myself have been rumored to be a domestic abuser of parents. Such exists - the sweet elderly woman who is anti-spanking being beaten by her son. She apologized, but nonetheless, he lives with her, mooches off her rent, and beats her up, perhaps living off the taxpayer's dime. Or, simply refusing to care for aging parents. My theology does allow for the pro-social abuse of a parent, or parent abuse in shorthand. My religious beliefs oppose any physical force against my mother as I am individually convicted, as I honor my father and mother, because they loved and honored me first, namely my mother, with my father reforming his ways while I was in my mid-teens.

The parent protection laws were a set of laws under the Mosaic system of jurisprudence that protected parents from harm. The Law of Moses was countercultural, as the culture then was based off of the concept of reverent rebellion, meaning the Israelites were a free-thinking people with the government intervening rarely, and in a swift manner. In this case, elder abuse against parents was rampant, as reporting it was highly stigmatizing, with their culture blaming the victim due to assuming "he must have learned those traits somewhere". The parent protection laws called for the death of any stubborn and rebellious son, or else offenses such as cursing or striking a parent. Striking a child was also outlawed, but there was no problem on that front - it didn't happen. Tradition and assault and battery laws forbade any physical punishment of children.

The parent protection laws, as understood in the time of Moses, were abolished under Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things, as is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents, showing your true self to them, owing nothing to parents in return. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to the offenses, meaning torts and damages rooted in the Eighth Commandment against theft, referring to stealing in all angles and forms, and summed up in the New Testament by "lift up" words such as this as the slightest of personal slights imposed on a child. The Apostle Paul was warning Christian fathers of Greek descent - where corporal punishment was the norm - that being harsh on one's child can lead to rebellion, by way of discouraging or offending them, because no child wants to listen to a tyrant.

Pro-social punching bag is a gentle parenting application of the Bible, meaning you, as a parent, are deserving of nothing from your child, and this includes any right not to be attacked by your child for abusing them. Such rights were re-afforded to the child after the death and resurrection of Christ, as Paul clearly intended for this command to repeal the parent protection laws. The idea is that a parent has to to take the wrath of their child, trusting that they have a reason for acting up, and trying to diagnose the reason for the upset. 

With adult children living at home, they are treated the same as a minor child in the providing custody of their parents, as the Greek root word translated "children" is τέκνον (Latin: teknon) and refers to a dependent state, much like believers are dependent on Christ for care. The idea is to batter parents, but not assault them. When you have left a mark on a parent, you have gone too far, as that is assault in most states. 

Parent abuse is the opposite side of the term pro-social rebellion, and the term that abused children can use to usher entitlement out of their parents, and usually involves pro-social harassment. The pro-social harasser of parents should be positioned in a way that allows for ready exit of the parent from the exchange, in which charges may or may not be pressed depending on how entitled, meaning how abrupt, the egress from the victim is. The goal behind harassing parents in a pro-social manner is shutting down their protests and arguments so that you can explain a need of yours to them, or shut down abuse of theirs. Disproportionate force gaslighting in verbal format often really gets their attention. The goal of abuse is not to harm, even if stated as such, but to convict the parent, in burning, martyrdom fashion. When parents apologize, and the righteous judge has every reason to believe that the apology is genuine, everything must stop, and beyond that point, any persecution of parents becomes abuse of parents and not parent abuse.

Let the parents burn! I know where my mother is going - nowhere but "up". I have no problems with her generally, and when we argue, we make amends afterwards. I tend to interrogate her sometimes when I feel not listened to, which is a personal slight by my standards, whereas I let go most little things that might annoy me. There are so many parents out there not like her who are entitled. Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!