Most people here, if not all, know some cursory things about me, namely that I have autism. There is also a camp among survivors in the children's rights movement of the United States that those with my kind of autism shouldn't "be in pain" by being aware of having pedophilic disorder. Yes, it is something you HAVE, which makes it more palatable. It is unhealthy to hide these things from yourself, meaning you are aware of this tendency to control children, so you turn it inward by pro-social avoidance/escape and pro-social fantasy.
I am actually a fairly limited individual with autism, meaning I don't have a regular job, and am on SSI. I am allowed SSI as long as I am grateful for it, and that I seek to do something to help out society, which this blog is one of them. This blog is organized as one quadrant of my life, with me being in line for a job in a sheltered workshop.
I took off from work entirely due to a movement disorder called tardive dyskinesia (TD). I was working in kitchens and so forth, and since I didn't want to drop or break anything due to the increasingly violent movements (which came with fear and insecurity alongside it). I am still on leave, which is extended until COVID-19 has abated...I have more time to blog, and that's an upside, but I actually look forward to going back to work.
If I ever got a job that did actually pay, I would delete everything, because many employers investigate you when you apply by simply putting your name in Google search. I may or may not return under a pseudonym then, depending on what you would like to be believe.
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