Understanding my anger patterns

 Yes, I am self-diagnosed as a pedophile. Many unfairly link pedophilia to anger. The abusive pedophiles are angry about something, but most are not angry in the sense of hiding harmful secrets. Quite a few have anger issues, but on the level that most people may struggle with. Many of us, however, can choose to be angry or not.

My anger is basically a chosen anger, many times, but one I'm prompted to brandish when backed into a corner, perceiving abuse from somebody. It is one of pro-social evil, meaning I know I am hurting the other person's feelings, and I don't care, because they are aggrieving me at that point, and the goal is make them feel what I feel in terms of hurt, until they break down, cave, and cooperate with my needs.

I don't get angry all the time outwardly, but may quietly find disgust in certain things, meaning pro-social judgmental. I am a very discerning person, but rarely share my judgments publicly, so not to cause disharmony in a social setting, and usually, I can state anger in a calm sentence. It is when someone continues to be selfish and uncooperative is when I lambast them with pro-social peacekeeper anger, and it always seems to lead to resolution afterwards, but I had to get that frustration and anger out.

I often get angry in question marks, especially "WHY?" such as "Why aren't you listening to me" (the most common frustration I have with people - not listening to needs). I am allowed to interrogate a parent, and they are always at fault, but I am not to interrogate anyone here without reason to suspect abuse of any kind. Just looking for wrong in others reeks of perjury, thus I just am a monitor most times, in parent situations and on parent issues. A silent witness that is in this world, but not of this world.

It is not a sin to have trauma, but it must be admitted in a way that spares children. Repressing trauma leads to parental entitlement, and then child abuse, thus repressing trauma alone is a sinful attitude due to the effect on others...Sex with a child, by my preferences, has nothing to do with the level of trauma in a child, but the level of nurturing instincts in a young girl, as I like to be but in the "child" role by them. They are like a potential babysitter. That actually is abuse, autism or no autism in the perpetrator.