The ultimatum: Understanding lawful child abuse

"The ultimatum" has a special meaning around here, and I don't like it, at all. It revolves around a grooming story concerning my cousin and I being rivals. I am actually out of the loop as to the details, but there is a loop, and Focus on the Family is in the middle of it. There is no rivalry. It's called affinity pedophile. We see ourselves as in alliance with children, as one united front, or as best friends. The ultimatum is a form of entitled abuse, or narcissistic abuse, that involves quid pro quo to control others.

The Tenth Commandment prohibits entitlement, or any form of adult power or control in parenting. This is denoted by the Greek root word translated πλεονεκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to wanting a child to do something you want them to do, to the point of seeking to impose said want on a child. It is "either/or" imposition in this case.

The ultimatum exists in adult relationships quite a bit, especially in family relationships. Many on the parental rights left call it "narcissistic abuse", but I shun that term because many of the curators of the term support narcissistic forms of parenting (as well as mental health awareness reasons - it actually is a disorder), so I bring up entitlement instead, which the left all hates. 

Compare these two abusive statements:

1. Adult: If you don't shut up about me verbally abusing you, I will lock you out without supports
2. Children: If you don't stop talking back to me, I will take away that tablet.

Both are the same in my eyes. Both are forms of entitlement, one a form of spousal entitlement, and one a form of adult/parental entitlement. Anyone who tries to use bribes in the negative or positive to control someone is manipulating, and is entitled. 

Appropriate ways to deal with a child is instead asking them to do something, and then having the parent-child bond already laid out like a carpet for the child to trust that you mean well, and listen, without fear of punishment.

Controlling or coercing a child in any way that the child can perceive is entitlement according to my Christian faith, and deadly entitlement if defended as a "right". Yes, my gentle parenting beliefs go deep to those roots. They will never be uprooted, and I will never see children and childhood any different. I know why it is so easy for me to be a gentle parent, and that, at the very same time, gives me very real, dark adult entitlement issues - no, never normalize the sexuality itself, but normalize the struggle, and humanize it, and I will humanize children regardless. "Regardless" makes that statement NOT an ultimatum.