The abuser locator: Progress and predictions

 Yep, we did it as a community. Took away the right of a child sexual abuser to identify by someone else's psychiatric label, thus stealing the identity of a vulnerable "child". Think shaking the little guy dry, often by the sexual abuse itself towards a pedophile themselves - a child/pedophile can have their condition taken advantage of by a sexual predator, when they have no other involvement in the child protection conversation. Most pedophiles are VICTIMS of child abuse of some kind, not perpetrator. Their condition simply masks a perpetrator, perhaps their own, due to the sexual element - a sexual attraction towards children, whereas most abuse is due to power and control. We aren't dummies about this information. We feign a lot because the world doesn't want children to have rights, and thus our traumas are tainted with the holding flipper of the parents, who lobby against imaginary enemies out to "out to vilify" parents, claiming in an alarmist manner "parents are under attack". They claim to protect as a body of abusers, yet do the opposite, except for the "appearance of propriety". Now is enough. Your one excuse left as a spiritual excuse err condition to blame - pedophiles - was just dropped, dear parents. Do blame yourselves, please, and spare me the excuses and BS, because YOU advocate abuse. 

I couldn't have done it myself, but I didn't finish, sadly. The way it works is that survivors rescind the use of the word "pedophile" in legal, moral, or prejudicial form in official capacity, as a token of sensitivity to the condition, that if they did mess up royally, and on our lawn, we switch back to pedophiles as a form of children's rights patriotism. "Pedophile" was once an excluded label, so it could be used however it wanted. Now, I identify, and so survivors can easily find other ways to find their abuser - and that's all it was, and a figurative plea for help that the media took literally, ignoring the small fact that maybe someone like me would want to advocate for children. Someone with the condition. A pedophile can genuinely care about children to the point of being their active. I see it in peacekeeping fashion, with the child being the slightly bigger figure, and me being smaller and perhaps with a snout, being dragged to her every need. I say "her" a lot because that's who I picture - the gender I am attracted to - but boys are included as well, as well as however a child identified (I'm not the judge of children). The two sides are children self-protect, and adults abstain. The snout analogy is written in punitive celebratory format - she rules the roost, and I just obey and go along. That's the type of advocate this community wanted, but one that didn't "take on" the community.

The idea was very straightforward. Make contact, and collaborate, in a business-like fashion. Selling ideas is like selling goods, meaning when you relate to your audience, your audience relates to you, either in a punitive way or a friendly way. In this case, I could find a friendly, amicable way to relate. Just another guy adding to the pot, but I stand out because I am a pedophile, and so outside forces try to break in. They overprotected survivors, by my humble standpoint, and assumed I was a narcissist at every level...Nope, if the article about pedophilia appears business-like, simple, and straightforward in writing, yet is trauma-sensitive at the same time, it is from me and written to survivors. Angry posts about the subject are written aside of survivors, towards the abusers themselves. No matter what scum you talk to, they all say the same thing - pedophiles are the scum of the earth. Do you trust the views of people who lack empathy and abuse others to draw the lines.

Pedophiles, in due time, will be normalized by being erased from sight in the news. That is a sexualizing word for a lot of survivors here, in a way that I must remember to keep the word on my page - it is simply a medical word for me, and says I have a psychiatric disorder. Currently, only us and a few prominent parental rights/neutral spanking pages are honoring the change. That's all it will turn out to be, to start out with - removing the word "pedophile" from news articles about criminal acts against children. "They're simply abusers", I often daydream my fellow survivors defending me. 

The problem is that the political correctness isn't coming from here, but over there in pro-spanking land. Most pro-spanking parents do not really care about this issue apart from mere appearances to other adults. If that system was suddenly lifted, all Hell would break loose. The "purity" police are the ones outspoken about the hatred of pedophiles. I myself am a purity Christian, and any sexual contact perceived from me is fornication, unless I have a good explanation otherwise, meaning not rationalization...They won't call it out in me. They want it to be "over there" so they make up a cartoon caricature and call them pedophiles. Humphrey is what pedophiles call the stereotype, common in pro-spank vintage images "humph" with clenched fists. You might have found me with such a depiction - gaslighting works wonders for abusers...Maybe a few survivors here do hate pedophiles in the prejudicial way I mean, but I don't give them credit as being survivors. Parents? Absolutely. Abusive parents to pedophiles. But, it is the purity scum that also "police the bosom" of teenage girls while saying "kill all them pedo scum...and now they are identifying in the open. Where has this world gone to?" when watching the evening news. Yes, it is that kind of hypocrisy. If you say "kill them all" and I have reason to believe you mean it 100%, and lunge at me (not a tough, menacing figure at all), you're gone. We know where you are headed, and we know non-offending pedophiles who choose to treat children with respect are headed up.

My prediction, ultimately, is that change will remain stagnant for a long time, but no progress like this stays dormant forever. It doesn't even need to be explained or even noticed. It's just deleting one word, and replacing it with a more fitting, more grimacing word perhaps. "Child molester" is one, "perpetrator" is another. Any terminology that isn't medical terminology. Some medical terminology is necessary to describe motives, but that is it. We pedophiles do not take kindly to being lumped in with our abuser.

Ultimately, at the end of the line, we are talking the acceptance of a population of children, who are hardest hit, perhaps, by child abuse of all kinds, especially lawful abuse. A pedophile who is healthy and self-diagnosed can regurgitate, like bloody vomit, the harm from corporal punishment of children. I can literally zip-line back to childhood in order to gather information, and compare to others. It is these days a very logical experience, after being put on a high dosage of anti-anxiety medication, and being chosen by God to advocate for children, to the degree able by a fallen world that hates children...The trauma I regurgitate shocks a lot of people here, and abroad in the parent complex. It should. Parental rights itself, as an ideology, was a mere attempted indoctrination that I refused defiantly and proudly, even in past tense. That kid that I once was rebelled in a pro-social manner, and even if he was flawed in doing so, he had a point, didn't he? Fock pro-spanking advocates. So you claim to be a "survivor", fock you if you fock your child with an open hand, and call it "love". You're just like your abuser, and I'm glad my father saw that, and changed...I don't respect all traumatics. Only anti-spanking survivors, because trauma is no excuse. I presume innocence in all regards, so identify by trauma or mental illness - flaws - not a glorified label that emblemizes anti-child adult pride that is arrogant and hateful to children. As for me, I just want to insult someone's trauma when they abuse others with it, and inflict harm to their trauma, because I didn't turn out okay and I want to prove it...Yep, a pedophile.

Once pedophiles come out of the closet as choosing not to abuse children, and admitting their privilege and power over children, it will be a domino reaction, showing other adults that if "we virtuous pedophiles can choose not to abuse children, therefore you can as well as a parent". Some of us do have a child that they/we are attracted to, and the idea is to show restraint and know it is wrong, just like with the spanking issue. Pedophile self-control is a lower self-control, meaning it blossoms up and centers the whole person. Restraint from physically battering your child is actually more difficult, from what I can see, hence the need for the unfortunate term pro-social assault. As for me, I can be around an attractive young girl, and be sure nothing will happen. It would just be stupid to walk up to her, at best. I just know she is an individual, and perhaps an attractive girl, so I glance and go down to Aisle 5 in Redner's. Just enjoy the view, and maybe be grateful later for the glimpse.

Restraining pedophiles are a topic I want discussed openly, just like parents might discuss openly that spanking is wrong, and seek professional support in times of distress. Even these parents lack resources in many areas, and the marginalization is the exact same for pedophiles. I include pedophiles as a subcategory of struggling parents/caregivers that can't get the positive parenting resources they need to flourish, and for their children to be safe from trauma and harm. Pedophiles are like any caregiver, in that they have a control wick when attached to a child. The fact that the wick is something different is not a reason to be alarmed - it can be controlled the same way. Thus, I bring up a label to bring back a label, misused by religious entities for a long time.

So much change at stake. Just by ditching a word. Sexual abuse survivors here actually don't like that word being used all over the place. They reclaimed it for them to use against perpetrators, not knowing that there were better words, denoting the living situation - parent, adult. But, they will only tell you this if they really trust you. They even mentioned to me in ETC that they took a risk, because the alternative could be something celebratory. I do not celebrate being a pedophile. I celebrate recovering as a pedophile. It doesn't need to be doom and gloom - nowhere in the Bible does it explicitly condemn pedophiles nor is the word "pedophile" even mentioned, but at the same time, entitlement of all kinds are banned, meaning here planning against a child, and defending such a plan as a "right". Sexual fantasy is okay of the pro-social type, meaning here by a victim pedophile whose exposed sexuality is immature - a lot of men are narcissists in that they will yearn afterwards, and then be at risk of abusing an actual child. That's how I know most pedophiles at VirPed are tested victims.

May we live in interesting times, as the old Chinese curse says. We are headed towards an anti-spanking law here in Pennsylvania, but slowly. You have to be the optimistic pessimist to see the change, but then languish back and then know that real change takes time. We'll see.