What is anti-abuse?

 I actually am anti-abuse/anti-"abuse", meaning I'm both, because children's rights is both today. Anti-"abuse" means streamlined definitions, meaning specific definitions. My definition of abuse is whatever the victim perceives, and believe children down to age 0 meaning birth have the capacity to perceive abuse, albeit only by non-verbal responses in relation to actions of the parent that determine abuse (ex. a baby crying, after a hand swats the child, and the husband sees). I am anti-"abuse" to the extreme. The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania is an anti-"abuse" state, but needs to meet full fruition by banning spanking, thus any commission of any physical battery or assault as determined by Title 18 of the Pennsylvania Consolidated Statutes (18 Pa.C.S. §2709). 

Anti-abuse means something different - calling myself an abuser as a way to gauge my behavior. To someone with an "abuse" trauma, this may appear to be a form of self-hatred of the worst kind. To me, every adult but myself feels victimized and uptight about that word. As for me? I dealt with my trauma by misusing the word "abuse". By nature, I am an abuser of parents that fits the forensic profile of "anti-spanker", meaning an overzealous reporter in terms of nature, even though I never made a false report of abuse.

I was simply anxious all the time, seeing children in public being abused and punished, and wanting the parents to be in prison. That was the fantasy for them then - the cops come, slam the parents to the ground, and then carry the parents out. What happens to the children afterward? Didn't think that far. What I am saying is that, if that mindset would have allowed to progress, I would have broken down mentally and literally made reports based on scant evidence such as that, and then threw a hissy fit when banned from making further calls to ChildLine...I had no rules of evidence. Just pure panic and emotion.

I myself seek "friendship" with a child to "escape" from that scary world of children being abused at every corner, therefore seeing my trauma everywhere...Most clinical pedophiles fit this profile, in some vague form. Most grapple with the morality of suffering from a clinical disorder as well, due to religious stigma. However, most pedophiles are bystander adults, meaning, in most cases, we look in horror at a child being punished, while seeing them as "like our own"...Most of us don't even think of snatching up the child. We want the state to do it for us, instinctively seeing the state as the only viable option. Taking a child away by ourselves? Even jumping in, as an option, was frightening in a paralyzing way. I froze, because I knew I could do nothing, and was terrified of that fact...It is a relief knowing the harm of overzealous intervention in full.

Part of the anxiety was "I'm a good person, so why can't I do the humane thing and stop it, because THOSE PARENTS ARE BAD". Now, I know just how evil I am, and so the playing field is leveled. If you are a good person on the spanking issue, seeing it like me, you're a screaming nut whom everyone laughs at. I am evil, though, because *I* am capable of harm as well, and so it is anti-contact law. I am charred, dear parent, and I can tell you are too - get help, or go to Hell!

Yep, I abused that A-word. I meant well, but was evil nonetheless. Statenapping by proxy...is what I wish on pro-spanking parents - and I flipped the switch.