Many parents who hear about gentle parenting turn away because it is described in key phrases, either not to use or use instead. These gentle parenting phrases oftentimes are phrases that come naturally, but that's because I am a rote memorization learner, in rule format. Yes, I see the Bible itself as a set of rules and laws to live by. However, the parenting practice is based on damages to the child under biblical law.
It says in Colossians 3:21 KJV:
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to "stirring up" or "upbraiding", and ultimately to short-term legal damages imposed upon a child, namely pain, shame, defamation of character, and/or fornication, all guided by controlling entitlement, meaning the controlling instincts of parents.
Damages, in real life divine jurisprudence, are flexible in terms of understanding, particularly emotional and physical damages. Ultimately, hurt is hurt, and pain is pain, and whatever the child perceives viscerally as such din in the ears, different types of fear, overhang from sexual blows, feeling cornered. These are all emotions of abuse.
Adult-to-adult gaslighting is two sided, in terms of determining intent between two contestants. In Christian gaslighting, the one who is guilty is the one who is guilty, and is proven such by proof beyond a reasonable doubt. Entitlement is defending guilt as a "right", oftentimes as an attitude.
Parent-to-child is different, and is lopsided in favor of the child. The child voices a need, and such is to be observed as an officially issued lawful and binding order. The need is discerned by the parent by way of observational righteous judgment. Refusing to meet the need, and punishing the child for the need, constitutes the moral crime of parent entitlement leading to personal slights leading to theft/kidnapping by way of dereliction of providing custody. This need could be something most parents find insignificant - such as going for a drive or a hike with mom. That alone is a need. Saying "no" because "the governor closed the roads" is an acceptable denial of attachment needs, but "I don't feel like it, and you've been too mouthy lately"
A common refusal to meet emotional/attachment needs is punishment and control of children, namely corporal punishment. In biblical times, any control in parenting was unlawful and a moral crime under Jewish law. Boys stayed with their mother until age 6, and girls until age 12. Punishment of any kind was only allowed to be inflicted upon a person within a court of law. In the Old Testament, the rod of correction was a tool of judicial corporal punishment that was used on young adult men by their fathers in the Sanhedrin, as a final warning that they would end up being put to death. In the New Testament, punishment was based on collective shunning, meaning exiling an evildoer after gathering evidence. Anyone under the age of majority, then 12 for girls and 13 for boys, could not be charged. Thus, no child under age 18 should be punished for anything.
The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them suffer, let them burn! If you have submitted to God through your child, and choose not to control, punish, or adultify/spousify your children, you have nothing to worry about. You're among us, and they are over there with their pro-spanking parent antics
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