...I physically lashed out my mother a few days ago, to the point to ending up in a psychiatric facility. Grooming fight. I still am obedient and steadfast to my mother. Biblical obedience is a very much misunderstood concept among Christian parents. It is based on rebellion towards children, meaning expectedness coming from safety in relation to parents.
The Fifth Commandment, in Exodus 20:12 KJV:
Honour thy father and mother: that thy days be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
"Honour" refers to the Hebraic concept of family honor in ancient Israelite society, meaning everything that a child did wrong reflected upon the parent. The concept was that, if a child misbehaved and/or was rebellious, they had to learn it from somewhere. Ancient Israel was a first-to-last society based on the concept of pro-social rebellion. Pro-social rebellion is an American value, and is also a value of true biblical parenting.
It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:
Children, obey your parents in all things, as is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.
The Greek root word translated "children" is τεκνον (Latin: teknon) and refers to an individual who is legally dependent on parents(s) or parents in loco parentis. It refers to receiving one's every vulnerable need, with parents being a sacrificial, servile extension of Christ. The Greek root word translated υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to surrender of a specific type. Secure attachment, leading to pro-social cocoon. It is being able to share anything with a parent, and share any emotion with a parent, with the child being above yet beneath the child in terms of petitioning, with said petitions striking reverent terror into said parents, with reverent fear being denoted by the Greek root word ψοβός (Latin: phobos), referring to the type of fear one would have of saying something that would upset a spouse or friend. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to short-term damages imposed upon a child, such as pain, shame, and fornication, guided by controlling parent instincts. This is all based off of the children's rights code, which prohibits entitlement leading to theft/abuse, first in relation to children, and then everyone else. Entitlement is not merely wanting things from a child, but wanting things from a child to the point of seeking to impose said item onto a child, leading to theft/abuse. I, as an adult in relation to children, am to want nothing from a child, with the damages from said entitlement being abuse.
Parenting in ancient Israelite culture was attachment-based, thus not authoritarian in nature. Boys slept with their mothers until age 6, and girls until age 12. Children were ranged next to parents, meaning they were allowed to be energetic and rambunctious, with the mother supervising closely, and the father more distant. Striking another human being, under Jewish law, was illegal outside of judicial setting, and only after a conviction based on the presumption of innocence beyond a reasonable doubt. Anything that caused pain, distress, or discomfort towards the child, apart from maybe the mother yanking the child gently from physical dangers or barriers (the father was actually forbidden to do so without the mother's consent). Children had the right to express free emotion, including frustration. Child anger carried less stigma then than it did today. Children were allowed to rebel for their needs, even to the point of pro-social punching bag. Yes, children may push in emotions in our modern American society because they fear punishment. In the biblical context, punishing or controlling a child was immoral, with perhaps mom carrying a child on her back being the only coercion that there was.
In today's society, this can be applied as a domiciliary peacekeeper, meaning a child's home is her castle. She can run around the house, be as loud and rambunctious. Perhaps she runs into a table, and a vase of flowers falls onto the rug. I would just not even fight the battle. She's running up and down the hall, enjoying the sound of her scream, with racing energy and thoughts (speech, sometimes?). I'll just clean it up. The last time I "made" her clean it, I got a good beating. Welp, take your licks, and do better next time...Some parents, with another child, may simply say "now, you clean that up. and they do - because that's what you do to please mom. End of story. Children can be free about anything within the home. Perhaps she likes to run around in a completely unclothed state on a summers' day, after wearing a swimsuit at the pool or lake. I must deal with it, and not control her choice of wardrobe because I am distracted as an adult male in relation to her. I mean, I like seeing her showing everything to the whole house, but only look with her consent. The moment she flips me off, I know I have transgressed into abuse (antisocial "leer"). Child sexual abuse runs on a continual spectrum, ranging from leering to rape/lust murder. Any sexualizing glance towards a child that she deems to be offensive, alarming, uncomfortable, or annoying, is an act of sexual abuse towards a child. Yes, even that. Children in Pennsylvania have the right to report their abuser, meaning any adult that looks at you strange or funny in a way that makes you unsafe, meaning anything that makes you afraid, and can dial 9-1-1 or have a trusted adult take them to the police station, in order to file charges of summary harassment (18 Pa.C.S. 2709). If you feel "harassed, annoyed, or alarmed" by your abuser, the police should issue a summary citation to the abuser of $300. If it continues, he/she will have to serve 90 days in prison. The statute of limitations, or the window of time where you can make a legal claim against an adult that you are afraid of, is 90 days. After that, it is unfortunate, but the abuser will go unpunished.
The depraved and entitled parents and other adults who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them suffer! Let them burn in the lake of fire and brimstone! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
...My mom is not one of those parents going to Hell. The fact that I trusted her enough to be that emotional, no matter the fact that it could be considered a form of domestic battery under Pennsylvania law if in another context, means that I can voice any thought or emotion with my mom, and in most cases, she'd listen. In this case, she was deprived of information, meaning this was two victims pitted against each other, co-enlisted to "box it out". That's wrong. For both us. As victims of triangulating abuse. Looking in. All-seeing eye. Gang of stalkers.
