Back talk: Why not punish children for talking back

Many parents have been there. A child mouthing off to parents. This is a common and normal way that children act up. Most American parents punish their children for back talk. However, back talk happens when children cannot accept a set limits. In this case, an apology is in order when children talk back in this way. Punishing children for back talk is child abuse.

God's Law on child abuse is spelled out in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any offense perceived by a child. The key to not abusing your child is to avoid offense in children, with avoiding offense in children being the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just like with adults, hurt feelings are inevitable when bringing up children. One thing that hurts children's feelings is a limit that the child cannot accept. This hurt feelings in children many times occurs in the form of back talk. Whenever your child talks back, they cannot accept a set limit, in which case parents should be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent for setting a limit not out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including when your child talks back, you definitely need to give a formal apology for losing your cool with your child, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", including the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

Back talk is a common reason for children to be punished. In some homes, back talk is the sole infraction leading to punishment. In Ancient Greece, children who talked back were given an open-handed spanking to a bare bottom. These Greek parents were seen by the Early Church as infiltrators. Paul would have none of it in the churches that he oversaw. 

Anger in parenting alone was seen as a moral crime against children. Most Christian parents in the Early Church were instead motivated by worry or concern. Anger at a child was seen then as akin to a viper lashing out at an unsuspecting child. Maybe there was some warning, but that was it. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descending into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!