"Biblical spanking": Why the rod verses in Proverbs are repealed verses

Many parents think that the Bible supports, or even commands, the use of force in parenting. This is a common attitude coming from American parents. Most American parents cite the book of Proverbs for their pro-spanking "proof". However, the rod of correction in the book of Proverbs refers to judicial corporal punishment, not domestic corporal punishment.

One popular verse used to defend the corporal punishment of children is Proverbs 13:24 KJV:

He who spareth his rod hateth his son: but he who loveth him chasteneth him betimes. 

The Hebrew word translated "son" is ben and refers to a mature adult son. The Hebrew word translated "rod" is shebet and refers here to the rod of correction, namely a switch. However, striking another Jew outside of a courtroom setting was prohibited under Jewish law, with striking a minor child being prohibited even in a courtroom setting. The rod here refers to a form of judicial corporal punishment known as the 40 minus 1 lashes, administered to the bare back of an adult child, as a sentence for a crime. Minor children were not whipped at all. Fathers were deputized to whip his errant son whenever his son was found guilty of a capital offense, with the 40 minus 1 lashes being a final warning before the offender was put to death. The reason for this commandment is that, otherwise, fathers would refuse to whip their sons when their sons went afoul of the law.

The harsh punishments of the Old Testament are repealed by Christ's Work on the cross. Christ experienced corporal punishment unjustly, in the form of the 40 minus 1 lashes, before being nailed to the cross. The Early Christians shunned all corporal punishment under Roman law, or any corporal punishment for that matter. 

There is no such thing as a "biblical spanking". The Bible does not endorse corporal punishment of any kind. However, the Bible does weigh in on the spanking issue, and then some. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking your child, or even stop punishing your child for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just like hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent, in the form of a half-apology, whenever you hurt your child's feelings with limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feeling with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then committing never to losing your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool with a child alone is entitlement, and was seen as such in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translated to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this passage ultimately was understood then as prohibiting any offense as perceived by a child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Corporal punishment of a child was seen by the Early Christians as a pagan custom of parenting that occasionally plagued the parishes of the Early Church. Whenever a parent defended even parent anger, the offender was excommunicated from the Early Christian Churches of God. Contrary to popular belief, the Early Christians were not well integrated into Rome. Instead, the Early Christians lived in urban ghettos, and shunned the outside world.

Any parent anger directed towards a child was seen in the Early Church as entitlement, and was condemned widely as such. Most Christian parents in the Early Church instead were motivated by worry or concern, as opposed to an entitled backbone. Anger at children then was seen as akin to a viper lashing out at its prey. Anger at children then was seen as a predatory drive, meaning not a valid motive for parenting.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!