Hebrews 12:5-6: Why this is not a pro-spanking passage

Many parents use the Bible as a means of insisting on their "right" of punishing children. Most American parents support spanking and other forms of punishment, citing the Bible as an excuse for abuse. The cornerstone passage used as "proof" that spanking and other forms of punishment are "biblical" is Hebrews 12:5-6. However, Heb 12:5-6 is not a pro-spanking passage, but instead is a reassurance for the Hebrew Christians in their persecution from Rome.

God's Word on enduring hardship is stated in Hebrews 12:5-6 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

This passage, when understood correctly, is comforting to me. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and can have a figurative meaning to it, as is the case here. Whenever a Christian then came home from a long day at work, they instead said "God whipped me hard today". God does not literally reach down from the Heavens and whip His children. However, God does punish His children, as only He can, sending trials and tribulations the way of His children that He cherishes the most. However, God only punishes His children when it doesn't cause harm, whereas earthly parents only punish when it does, in fact, cause harm. This passage was intended as reassurance for the Hebrew Christians in their persecution from Rome.

The Bible does not endorse punishment of any child, including in Heb. 12:5-6. God does not want His Parenting methods to be used by earthly parents, as they could get it wrong. However, the Bible does touch on the spanking issue, and then some. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it not enough to stop spanking children, or even stop punishing your children altogether for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent, in the form of a half -apology, whenever you hurt your child's feelings with a limit not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement then. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this passage was ultimately received as prohibiting any offense as perceived by a child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

The staple punishment in the Greco-Roman world for a child was an open-handed spanking to the bare bottom. Spanking then was seen in the Early Church as a pagan custom to be shunned. However, some Greek Christian parents were bringing into the church their punitive pagan parenting customs. Paul would have none of it, and wrote two passages to convict Greek Christians of their punitive parenting habits. See also Eph. 6:4, stanza 1. 

The Early Christians never whipped even the worst of moral offenders. This was because Christ Himself experienced the 40 minus 1 lashes unjustly before being nailed onto the cross. Christ died and Rose again on the Third Day in order to abolish the harsh punishments found in the Old Testament in their entirety. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!