"Spare the rod, spoil the child": Why the rod verses in Proverbs are repealed verses

Many parents spank or punish their children. This is a common behavior in parents. Most parents, at some level, use the Bible as an excuse to punish their children. Parents these days need an attitude adjustment in that regard. The fact of the matter is that the Bible is an anti-spanking document. 

There is no such phrase in the Bible stating clearly "spare the rod, spoil the child". However, the book of Proverbs contains 6 verses mentioning the rod of correction. The most well-known of these verses is Proverbs 13:24 KJV:

He who spareth his rod hateth his son: but he who loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

The Hebrew word translated "son" is ben and refers here to a mature adult son. The Hebrew word translated "rod" is shebet and refers here to the rod of correction, which was a switch applied to the bare back of a criminal offender, in a courtroom setting, as a sentence for a crime. Striking another Jew outside of a courtroom setting was considered unlawful then. Striking a minor child for any reason, in any context, was prohibited under Jewish law. The father then was deputized to administer the blows. The reason for these rod verses is that otherwise, the father would refuse to whip his son when the Law required it. Ultimately, what is being referred to here is the 40 minus 1 lashes, not a domestic spanking of a child. 

Christ died and Rose on the Third Day in order to repeal the harsh punishments of the Old Testament. Christ was whipped unjustly by the Romans, and thus the Early Church shunned all corporal punishment, including which was perpetrated by the Romans. Christ instead opened up Heaven and Hell for sinners and saints respectively. 

The Bible nowhere speaks of any sort of "biblical spanking". However, the Bible does weigh in on the spanking issue, and then some. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking or even punishing your child for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable when dealing with children. Thus, if you hurt your child's feelings, you need to give a meaningful apology to your child. Usually, all that is necessary is reassurance of good intent in the form of a half-apology, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limits for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, you should definitely give a formal apology for hurting their feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool with your child in and of itself is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", including the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spankings or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular belief, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

All of the biblical writers also wrote parenting manuals. This included King Solomon himself. King Solomon was anti-spanking as a whole. Maybe he wrote about the 40 minus 1 lashes, but he didn't ever intend for minor children to be whipped. For minor children, he recommended attachment parenting to Jewish parents. 

Christian parenting in the Early Church was not based off of anger. Instead, parenting was motivated by worry or concern. Whenever a parent lashed out at their child in the Early Church, the parent was disciplined by the council, and was excommunicated if they defended their parent anger in any way.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!